Difference jokes
What's the difference between meat and fish?
If you beat your fish, it'll die.
What's the difference between a man's wife and his dog?
Lock them both in the trunk for three hours and see which is happy to see you when you open it.
What's the difference between a suicide bomber and puberty?
Puberty waits for the blow up.
What’s the difference between being a genius and being an idiot?
Being a genius has its limits.
What’s the difference between an epileptic corn shucker and a prostitute with diarrhea?
The epileptic corn shucker “shucks between fits”...
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie? He can’t walkie or talkie.
What's the difference between a road bump and children crossing the road?
A road bump will make you slow down when you drive over it.
It's amazing how dog owners can make their dogs shout different things. For example, Czech dogs go "barf," American dogs go "woof," and Chinese dogs go "sizzle."
What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
The taste!
What is the difference between a tree and a dog?
A dog can walk and a tree cannot walk.
What’s the difference between a thief and a pervert?
One will snatch your watch, the other will watch your snatch.
what's the difference between a feminist and a knife?
one has a point.
What is the difference between cremation and smoking?
While you are smoking, you don't go up in smoke.
What's the difference between a feminist and Hitler?
Both were good at starting wars, only difference was Hitler knew when to kill himself afterwards.
What's the difference between a bicycle?
A banana, because vests don't have sleeves.
What is the difference between a man performing anilingus on a woman and a man performing cunnilingus on a woman?
If a man is performing anilingus on a woman, it is not classified as heterosexual sodomy, you fucking idiot!!!!!
What is the difference between a feminist and a female prostitute? If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
Q: What is the difference between a dead body and an orphan?
A: The dead body had a family.
What is the difference between whores and nuns?
Nuns usually discover their own chosen vocation. Whores usually have their vocation chosen by pimps.
What is the difference between Princess Diana and my laptop?
When my laptop crashes, I give a s**t.