Difference jokes

My favorite joke was: what's the difference between a teacher and a train?

What is the difference between giving money to a prostitute and giving money to a church? A prostitute won't tell you that it is more blessed to give than it is to receive.

What is the difference between giving money to a prostitute and giving money to a church? You don't get something in return if you give money to a church.

What is the difference between giving money to a church and giving money to the IRS?

If you stop giving money to a church, you won't go to prison.

what's the difference between hitler and you?

one didn't keep posting on twitter about killing themselves.

What's the difference between a gun and chips? When you bring it to class, everyone starts wanting to be your friend.

What’s the difference between a Hispanic and a stoner?

A stoner has papers.

What is the difference between a guitar and a fish?

You can't tuna fish.

What’s the difference between 1000 used tires and 1000 used condoms?

One's a good year and one's a great year.

What's the difference between fathers and hurricanes?

Nothing. They both destroy families and then leave for a couple of years.

Jay and Andrew are best friends who are almost alike. The difference between them both is Jay is poor and well... Andrew, on the other hand, is suck-a-dick poor. Let me explain, Jay wakes up in his room, walks to the kitchen, and asks his mom, Lisa (I call her Lisa now, btw), if there is anything to eat. "No, bitch!" she replies, so Jay drinks a glass of milk and goes back to bed.

Now Andrew... wakes up, jumps out of bed, and he's in the kitchen. He sees his mom fixing some food for work after a long hard night of giving her husband blue balls. "Anything left for me, Mother?" Andrew asks. "Sorry, Honey, I have to eat to put food on the table and to get the running again." *so she goes to work, taking her time* Andrew sits by his bedside and says to himself, "Man... I'd suck a dick for some water right now." *his mom storms back after hearing what he had said* "I'll buy you a soda if you do my first customer for me!"

What’s the difference between me and Chester Bennington?

I know how to use an exercise band.

What's the difference between drugs and kids?

I don't sell drugs.

What's the difference between the Titanic and Georgie from "It"?

Georgie floated!

What is the difference between a rapist and a dictionary?

One of them knows the definition of no.

What is the difference between a pornstar and a mosquito?

No one stops sucking.

Say yes if you wanna fuck.

What is Green and Red and goes round and round?

A frog in a blender.

(this next one is pretty bad, and I don't mean it, so don't get offended)

What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench?

One can support an average family.

What is the difference between a tree?

What did the traffic light 🚦 say? Oh.

What is the difference between a comma and a period?

A comma gives you a pause, but a period gives you sleep.