Die jokes

Why did Sally die? She got stabbed by her mum.

My ex died today.

I also lost my job as a butcher.

When you're in the war and you die and say to God, "Where is the gulag?"

"I hate when people make 9/11 jokes because my grandfather died during the Twin Tower attacks. He was the best pilot in Saudi Arabia."

Why did Lucas die?

'Cause he was old, Lucas.

One random YouTube comment in 2018: "Soon, a virus will come to Earth."

A year later: "Pahahahahah that comment is fake lmaoooo ahahahha!"

Another year later: "Time to die a painful death."

Another year later: "God has come with the cure!"

The patient said, "When will this be over?"

The doctor said, "After you die."

The patient says, "Was that a morbid joke?"

The doctor says, "Well, um, actually, you'll die because we broke the needles and the cure."

The patient says, "Well, it's a bright day, maybe if you weren't clumsy!"

Why do people not adhere to the corona measures?

Because they hate their lives and want to die.

What do you tell your butt cheek when you need to use the bathroom? "Hold it in, so you won't get constipated and die."

You die. LOL!

How do you make a plumber die?

You kill his family.

I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"

Before my grandad died, he whispered to me, "Is your uncle still in the basement?" I said he has died. Oh, my grandad said, "I will lock him in heaven's basement."

My brother got his legs chopped off, but someone FBI opened my basement door, but it wasn't my brother because he died of starvation in the basement.

Yesterday I had a party.

I got questioned about five dead kids locked up in a box.

I did that when I was 13. Damn, I forgot about them!

Ama is a bitch. I want him to die and kill himself.

I don’t like making jokes about 9/11. My grandad died in it, he was the greatest pilot I ever knew.

What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?

They melted him down and turned him into Lego, so kids could play with him for once.

How did Jesus kill himself?

He fell from his bike.

How many times did he die?

Once on a bike and once when he fell from a cloud in Heaven.

Time for a random Terraria joke.

Q: Why did the guide die at his house?

A: The player dropped his doll in the lava.

(WALL OF FLESH HAS AWOKEN) :| Oh crap!