Die jokes
On Xbox Live, an orphan can say "they f-ed your mom," so you can say, "at least mine didn't die from it."
What do you get when you cross a cow with a fish?
A genetically unstable animal that is impossible and would die instantly upon existing. If it could live, it would be a deformed, parasitic tumor that undulates through people.
My dog died.
What do fire and people have in common?
They will both eventually die out.
JACK smoked some shit in the casino bathroom.
Then fucked a slut, played some slots, took some shots, then shot a JOKER!
It's a sad story, because JACK killed himself, but he died with a smile.
"Abortion: Another word for dying at spawn."
I made someone a PB and J sandwich... they died.
Three construction workers were sitting on the bridge that they were building, having their lunch break. The first guy says, "If I get a Vegemite sandwich again, I am going to jump off this bridge." The second guy says, "If I get a peanut butter sandwich again, I am going to jump off this bridge." The third guy says, "If I get another strawberry jam sandwich, then I am going to jump off this bridge." The next day, the first guy gets a Vegemite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich, and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All three guys jump off the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals, the first wife says, "If he just told me, I would have given him a different sandwich." The second guy's wife says, "It is all my fault. If only I knew." The third wife says, "I don't get it, he makes his own lunch."
Stephen Hawking died because he was too far away from the Wi-Fi router.
People named Joey are autistic and need to die fatty.
There was a penguin breathing with his ass. One day, he sat down and he died.
Why do cemeteries have fences around them? People are dying to get in.
How Steven Hawking died: because he moved too much during the day and ran out of juice.
"Where ya going?"
"When I die, hell, but right now, my room."
I wanna die.
How did Steven Hawking die?
He blew a fuse doing an update.
Where are people sent to die?
Ross Hall academy.
Sally jumped out a plane, she forgot her parachute!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally...
How did she die?
A bomb came down whilst falling through the sky.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
A bomb.
Why did God make the devils die?
God is great!
So I made a parody for "Me, Myself, and I." It goes like this: "Me, Myself, and I, I'm gonna drink bleach until I die!"