Die jokes
What do fire and people have in common?
They will both eventually die out.
JACK smoked some shit in the casino bathroom.
Then fucked a slut, played some slots, took some shots, then shot a JOKER!
It's a sad story, because JACK killed himself, but he died with a smile.
"Abortion: Another word for dying at spawn."
I made someone a PB and J sandwich... they died.
Three construction workers were sitting on the bridge that they were building, having their lunch break. The first guy says, "If I get a Vegemite sandwich again, I am going to jump off this bridge." The second guy says, "If I get a peanut butter sandwich again, I am going to jump off this bridge." The third guy says, "If I get another strawberry jam sandwich, then I am going to jump off this bridge." The next day, the first guy gets a Vegemite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich, and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All three guys jump off the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals, the first wife says, "If he just told me, I would have given him a different sandwich." The second guy's wife says, "It is all my fault. If only I knew." The third wife says, "I don't get it, he makes his own lunch."
Stephen Hawking died because he was too far away from the Wi-Fi router.
People named Joey are autistic and need to die fatty.
There was a penguin breathing with his ass. One day, he sat down and he died.
Why do cemeteries have fences around them? People are dying to get in.
How Steven Hawking died: because he moved too much during the day and ran out of juice.
"Where ya going?"
"When I die, hell, but right now, my room."
I wanna die.
How did Steven Hawking die?
He blew a fuse doing an update.
Where are people sent to die?
Ross Hall academy.
Sally jumped out a plane, she forgot her parachute!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally...
How did she die?
A bomb came down whilst falling through the sky.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
A bomb.
Why did God make the devils die?
God is great!
So I made a parody for "Me, Myself, and I." It goes like this: "Me, Myself, and I, I'm gonna drink bleach until I die!"
Stephen only died because his wife tripped over the power cord.
Why did Ten die?
It was between 9/11.
There was a dude, he was like, "Yo dawg, you wanna die?" I said, "What is this, Friday the 13th?"