Didnt jokes

Hey guys! I'm back! Sorry I didn't post yesterday! I had swim practice, and a bunch of homework, but here I am! And here is the quote of the day!

"Push yourself, because no one will do it for you."

Love y'all so much!

Someone: Didn’t we already meet somewhere?

Me: Yeah. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.

My mom said my sister was an angel, but when I threw her out the window, she didn't fly.

"I miss you.

Being happy was never that hard without you..."

Someone's dad: You think he/she wants to join me? I didn't get the milk...

There was a kid and a historian in a museum about WW2 and were looking at Hitler in a car doing the Nazi salute. The kid said, “Why is he putting his arm in the air?” The historian said, “Indicators on cars didn’t exist back then so he’s probably saying take the Third Reich!”

You know, people always tell you to stand up for yourself. Why didn't anyone tell the World Trade Center that? 🤔

Your hairline goes so far back your dad didn't leave.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because they can't.

Jonny went fishing and he didn’t know how to cast his pole, and he asked his friend Joe how to cast it. Then when he cast, he only cast 3 feet, and he never learned how to do it.

We were watching a 9/11 documentary in class.

I started playing the Angry Birds theme song. That didn't fly well with people, the teacher yelled at me like a bomb, and I landed on the ground.

One of my friends got a haircut, and everyone giggled and bullied him... I didn’t, I died of laughter 😂

When my friend fell, I didn't crack up, but the sidewalk did.

I went to a gun shop yesterday. Everything was half off. I didn't know that back to school sales have begun.

My bad, but you stink so bad you passed by a trashcan and it yelled, "Wow! I didn't know I had family!"

My girlfriend is so stupid, she asked me if I wanted to shower with her to save money on our water bill, while we were staying at a hotel where we didn't even have to pay the water bill.

What does it mean when there is a man in your bed, gasping for breath and saying your name?

It just means that you didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

Why didn't the orphan play video games with his friends?

Because his parents wouldn't let him.

If your dad didn't bring the milk, what are you dipping your cookies in?

Why didn't the octopus get a tent? Because it had tentacles.

Yo momma so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the floor cracked up.