Yo mama so fat, when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the concrete laughed up.
Didnt Jokes
A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died.
When she met God, she asked Him, "How come you didn't answer my prayers?"
God replied, "I did. I kept sending men to rape you, but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion."
Why do orphans go to the market?
To get the milk their parents didn't bring back.
I know this isn't an orphan joke, but I didn't know where to say it, so yeah.
I threw a nut at the allergy table and screamed, "YES, TRIPLE KILL!"
The orphan turned 18, but he was happy because he didn't have to pay rent to his parents.
You know what I said to the chair? "Sit!" But it didn't move. Hahaha!
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he was part of the Lazy Bones team!
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
'Cause she didn't wear a seatbelt.
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
He got hit!
Me: *gives her 5 dollars* Climb that flag pole. Cute female: *takes the money and goes up the flag pole* Is this good? Me: Hell yeah, that's a nice view.
*Next day* Here's 10 dollars if you do it again. *She goes up there* Me: How's the view? *She goes home and her mom sees the money* Her mom: Where you getting this money? Her daughter: I climbed a flagpole. Her mom: You know he just wants you to see your panties, right? *She goes back and does it again but doesn't wear panties* Me: Holy shit ;-; Her mom: Did you do it again? Her daughter: Don't worry, Mom, he didn't get to see my panties. Her mom:...
Why did the blind woman get raped?
Because she didn't know she was wearing see-through clothes.
Titanic didn't sink by an iceberg.
Titanic sank by 100000000000000000000000 Titanics.
Okay, so one time a deaf kid got into a car accident, but he didn't herd in on the news.
Why do orphans eat their breakfast with water?
Because their dad didn't come back with the milk.
When we told Twin Towers to put on airplane mode, we didn't mean a real airplane.
What happens when an orphan is told that someone had found their parents?
They cry...
They scream... with joy.
"Oh wait, no, that wasn't your parents."
Orphan grabs a knife out of the kitchen, lets just say, the orphan didn't live to tell the tail...
My jokes are so dark that I am surprised that the cops didn't shoot them yet.
How did Helen Keller know she went to hell?
She didn't.
Why didn't the bear leave home?
He could not bear leaving his family.
Was threatened with legal action off my postman this morning!! I was stood havin a smoke when he asked if my dog bites, I said no. Halfway down my path the dog jumped up and bit him on his testicles!! Screaming out in pain he Said I was a lying bitch cos I told him my dog didnt bite!! Told him mine doesnt!! that wasnt my dog!!!
