Didnt jokes
"Why didn't the skeleton climb the mountain?"
"It didn't have the guts!"
What did the hecadrocophodecadus say to the hopetihopetifuckendecker?
"It didn't happen, but it should have."
What do you call a bird with no wings?
Moas didn't even know that existed!
Why didn't anyone laugh at pizza jokes?
Because they were too cheesy!
My friend: Hey, I got 15 kills!
Me: I got 60 kills!
My friend: I didn't know you played Call of Duty!
Me: What's Call of Duty?
"I see, I see." "Oh, do you see?" "I see 1st place looking at me." "Hi, don’t be shy, just say hi." She was shy, she didn’t say hi. Softball cheers.
A french fry was talking to a potato, but the potato didn't understand what he was saying.
It was because he didn't speak French.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He didn't have enough room for any more RAM on his motherboard. I feel so bad for saying that!
My jokes are so dark that I am surprised that the cops didn't shoot them yet.
I asked a kid why he was so blue.
Didn't realize his parents were choking him out.
Why does an orphan eat cereal with water? Because their dad didn't come back with the milk.
Unfortunately, I had bad luck and faced infidelity.
Picture this: the bedroom door opens and I see my girlfriend in bed with two men...
I didn’t expect her to come back so early.
I had a new "blonde parts expert" woman call for parts. I needed 2 ought wire for a job. She calls NAPA auto and asks for twat wire. The parts guy was assuming she didn't know about Planned Parenthood? .. 😂🤣
You have to tell this to a friend:
There are 30 cows in a field. 20 ate 28 chickens. How many didn't? A: 10
Katy Perry can't sing, can't dance, doesn't write music, is unbelievably ugly, and is unable to decipher maths or science. Really though, I didn't realize going down on a record executive would later lead her to be one of the people able to go to space.
Why didn't the skeleton want to make art anymore?
He didn't have the heart to put into it.
Me: Ok so let's get this straight....
Cop: I'm not straight ok, now get in the car.
Me: But I didn't do anything?
Cop: No.
Me: So why are you arresting me then?
Cop: Imma tell you a story.
Me: Oh no.......
Cop: I know, now come on.
Me: Ok where?
Cop: My room.
Me: Which room?
Cop: My bedroom.
Me: 😱I'm a girl.
Cop: So am I, now get in.
Me: But I'm 9.
Cop: I'm 59.
Your mama so ugly, when the baby came out of her, the baby didn't cry. The baby said, "What the hell is this shit?" and walked out of the hospital.
My girlfriend didn't bring me the sandwich, so I brought the gas.
"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth, including an increase in child abuse," said the village priest.
The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison, they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media.
"Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!"
"Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey," they reported.
The village priest is living at his majesty's convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.
"Why is this a joke? It's not even funny!" said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.
What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?