My girlfriend didnt bring me the sandwich so i brought the gas
Q?: Why didn't the Oak tree win the election? A: He didnt get the votes he was oaking for, Because he was not the popular vote.
knock knock whos there? banana banana who orange orange who orange you glad i didnt say banana again
because all I do is pound it man I would put you on my 600 life if you didnt weigh a thousand
TAOST YOU DIDNT SUBMIT IT YOU FUCK
my bad but you stink so bad you past by a trashcan and it yes wow! i didnt know i had family!
My mom said my sister was an angel but when i threw her out the window she didnt fly
Why didnt the dog wanna play football??
Cuz he was a boxer!!!
Yo Mama So UGLY That on Halloween She didnt get candy
Whenever you think back to 9/11 and realize there 12 hours in front of us, why the f*ck didnt they warn us.
wyatt is a guy who still doesn't have a girlfriend because he didnt sit with yanely and jasmine at lunch. funny joke huh
Why did the pillow cross the road
Because his cousins name was Koshin and he didnt want to live anymore
Friend 1: I HATE YOU! Friend 2: *cries* b-but i-i didnt say t-that!! Friend 3: *writes on paper with pencil cuz is so bored* Me: *points at pencil lead* NOW NOW NOW THIS HAS *LEAD* TO SOME SERIOUS FRIENDSHIP LOSS! plz shut up. All my friends: *groan at horrible pun*
Yo papa was so dumb he didnt know how to turn on his computer
why didint the teddy bear want to go to the gym
:Because he didnt wasnt to get ripped
What did the hecadrocophodecadus said to the hopetihopetifuckendecker? "It didnt happen, but it should have"
me sister said im stupid and im a baby and i said ohh i didnt know we were talking about you
my mother caught me jerking off and she told me to leave it out. i didnt know what she doing but she grab my cock and started sucking. then i found out on porn she was doing deep throat. a couple of weeks later my dad caught me jerking off, i thought he would deep throat, but he just walked up to me and slapped my boner. i cried for 5 hours. luckily my mum gave me a sloppy joe afterwards.
One weekend some distant family members that I hadn't met before came over. My cousins (who I also hadn't met before) were fighting, so I decided to separate them and place them in opposite corners of the room (thinking it would help).
My mom took me to an empty room with tears in her eyes, and told me they both ended up dying.
Well, SO-RRY but I didnt know they're conjoined twins.
