Didnt jokes

I got my little girl a hand sewing kit for her birthday and she cried. I didn't understand why until I realized that she had no hands to sew with.

I didn't get the joke at first, then it hit me like a plane.

Why didn't the cows eat the lemon grass?

It made sour milk.

Why did Sally cross the road?

She didn’t wear her seatbelt.

My friend put an action toy and called it Kobe and put it on a drone. I realized that my friend didn't know how to fly a drone.

My mother caught me jerking off and she told me to leave it out. I didn't know what she was doing but she grabbed my cock and started sucking. Then I found out on porn she was doing deep throat.

A couple of weeks later my dad caught me jerking off, I thought he would deep throat, but he just walked up to me and slapped my boner. I cried for 5 hours. Luckily my mum gave me a sloppy joe afterwards.

What’s the difference between cancer and my brother?

My brother didn’t beat cancer.

What did the person with no hands get for Christmas?

He didn't open it yet.

I went to see my dentist, and she warned me it was going to hurt. Then, she told me she was having an affair with my husband. Good news though...the cleaning didn't hurt.

My grief counselor died. He was so good, I didn't even care.

What's the difference between my dad and cancer?

My dad didn't beat the cancer.

Why didn’t the orphan see the new movie?

It was "Spider-Man: No Way Home."

When I die I want to have a piece of paper near me giving a clue on how I died, like, "I want everyone to miss me except for this bullet," or, "You didn't hang with me but guess what did?"

One of my friends named Jill had a drug overdose.

She didn’t have any of that drug after that. For the rest of her life, she acted very high. When she died, it was because of natural causes, not the drug. So this proves that a lethal dose is also a life time supply.

I asked my orphan friend to come to my house. He said he was confused because he didn't know what that is.

I told my deaf mom to be nice to the neighbors. She didn't listen...

I was going to buy a watch today, but I didn't have time.

I don’t know why people don’t say "Cobain," because I’m pretty sure Kurt Cobain didn’t miss his last shot like Kobe did.

*WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....

What came first? The chicken or the egg?

Which came first? The color orange or the fruit?

Who taught the first ever teacher?

If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?

If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?

In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?

Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'separate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?

How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?

The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, it's a cop"?

Is it possible to cry underwater?

If two left handers have an argument, who is right?

I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O

EU Delegate: "Sir, your country has the highest corruption and crime rate out of any other member nations. What do you have to say?"

Ambassador: *tries slipping the delegate 40 Euros* "You didn't see any statistics."