Didnt jokes
Things I would’ve missed if my suicide attempt didn’t fail in 2020.
My attempt in 2021.
And my attempt this year.
Why do orphans go to the market?
To get the milk their parents didn't bring back.
You were sleeping, it didn't count - Chloe Foxwell 2021:)))))))
A woman having labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”
“Don’t worry,” said Doc to the worried husband.
“Those are just contractions.”
I didn’t realize I had to put jokes into categories, my bad.
Unleash the jokers...👍
How to get 60 Translink workers? Please head out of the pool because ya'll are fat. Oh wait, didn't you poop yourself? Say sorry to your underwear while pooping as a fat Canadian Translink worker, little boy.
There once was a boy named Sammy who loved this girl beyond belief. Her name was Rayne, but she didn’t notice him and or talk to him, but one day she did, and the ended up liking each other and getting married and living happil- wait no, that’s not right. Sammy actually snuck in Rayne's house one day and kidnapped her and locked her in his basement and made her into a puppet so he could keep her forever and ever. The End.
My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden.
He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, "You have to dig a little."
Wife: (on phone) Hi. Husband: Hey, I didn’t know dishwashers talk and make me a sandwich.
Why couldn't the astronaut put the helmet on his head?
Because he didn't have enough space.
My grief counselor died just the other day.
He was so good though, I didn't care.
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Grandma.
Grandma who?
I didn't know you could yodel!
Why didn't Michael Jackson get away with messaging with kids? Because they were all juveniles.
Why didn't the orphan go home?
Because he didn't have a home.
Okay, so one time a deaf kid got into a car accident, but he didn't herd in on the news.
I tried to get into an emo bar, but I didn't make the cut.
If it's true what they say and I quote, "God never gives you more than you can handle," then you should pray to those who didn't, that God gave them a body strong enough to survive the attempt.
Joke: Why did the gym close down?
– It just didn’t work out.
Why didn't the teddy bear want to go to the gym?
Because he didn't want to get ripped.
Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it only went halfway.