Didnt jokes

Yo mama is so ugly that when she went through a face ID, it didn't think she was human.

One day an orphan threw a boomerang. It's not the only thing that didn't come back.

When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to just cheer up, god damn, why didn't I think of that?

Why did the kid cry?

His dad didn't get the milk.

Things I would’ve missed if my suicide attempt didn’t fail in 2020.

My attempt in 2021.

And my attempt this year.

Your mama is so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the concrete cracked up.

Why didn't the pirate want to play cards?

Because he was standing on the deck!

Two kids were beating up a ginger kid in an ally, so I stepped into help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.

This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. What the fuck are you mad at me for? My grandpa didn’t even survive one.

I went to a birthday party and told dad jokes.

The jokes didn't go over well. I was asked to leave the orphanage.

I was playing laser tag with my ex, but I (wink) didn't realize I had a real gun.

Why that Nun didn't like Virgin Mary?

Because she was straight into Jesus.

Do you want to know what gifts God gave me?

He didn't give me any.

I was made by the Devil.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? He didn't have any BODY to go with.

Why didn't the seagull fly over the bay? Because it would be a bagel.

I went to the pharmacy the other day. I tried to buy a pack of condoms, but I pretended I didn't have enough money to mess with the cashier.

I went back into the aisles of the store, got a pack of rubber bands and plastic wrap, bought them, and walked out. I loved the look on the cashier's face when they saw my decision.

There once was a boy named Sammy who loved this girl beyond belief. Her name was Rayne, but she didn’t notice him and or talk to him, but one day she did and they ended up liking each other and getting married and living happily... wait, no, that’s not right.

Sammy actually snuck into Rayne’s house one day and kidnapped her and locked her in his basement and made her into a puppet so he could keep her forever and ever. The End.

Why couldn’t the orphan find home?

Didn’t have eyes.

Why didn't the orphan cross the road? Where was he gonna go?

I didn't know I raped her. I thought she wanted me to hurry up.