Didnt jokes
Two guys were beating up someone in an alley, so I stepped in to help.
He didn't stand a chance against the three of us.
Yo mama is so ugly that when she went through a face ID, it didn't think she was human.
Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"
One day an orphan threw a boomerang. It's not the only thing that didn't come back.
Things I would’ve missed if my suicide attempt didn’t fail in 2020.
My attempt in 2021.
And my attempt this year.
When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to just cheer up, god damn, why didn't I think of that?
Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? He didn't have any BODY to go with.
Why do orphans have gross cakes?
Because their dad didn't come home with the milk.
You look like the 0.01 percent of germs the Lysol didn't kill.
Your mama is so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the concrete cracked up.
Why did the kid cry?
His dad didn't get the milk.
Why didn't the pirate want to play cards?
Because he was standing on the deck!
Two kids were beating up a ginger kid in an ally, so I stepped into help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
Why didn't the seagull fly over the bay? Because it would be a bagel.
My wife says sex is even better on holiday. I wish she didn’t tell me via email.
I went to the pharmacy the other day. I tried to buy a pack of condoms, but I pretended I didn't have enough money to mess with the cashier.
I went back into the aisles of the store, got a pack of rubber bands and plastic wrap, bought them, and walked out. I loved the look on the cashier's face when they saw my decision.
There once was a boy named Sammy who loved this girl beyond belief. Her name was Rayne, but she didn’t notice him and or talk to him, but one day she did and they ended up liking each other and getting married and living happily... wait, no, that’s not right.
Sammy actually snuck into Rayne’s house one day and kidnapped her and locked her in his basement and made her into a puppet so he could keep her forever and ever. The End.
I didn't know I raped her. I thought she wanted me to hurry up.
Why couldn’t the orphan find home?
Didn’t have eyes.
Why didn't the orphan cross the road? Where was he gonna go?