Dick's jokes
Dick butt.
He probably picks hair off his dad’s dick, then probably puts it in his hair.
Why did the pervert cross the road?
His dick was stuck in the chicken.
Do you know Candice?
Candice dick fit in your mouth!
How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?
Pick it up and suck its dick.
Tim and Tom were at work. Tim said, "I'm sick of this. I'm going to act like an idiot to get sent home." So Tim was on the roof saying, "I am a light bulb!" The boss walked in and said, "Tim, go home, you're acting like a dick!" Then Tom started packing up and Tim said, "Tom, why are you packing up?" Tom says, "I can't work in the fucking dark, can I?"
How do you suck a dick?
Stick it down your throat like Nicholas does with Dennis.
I eat dick.
Why do men like big tits and a flat ass?
Because they got little dicks and big mouths.
One day Little Johnny’s class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?” Little Mary says, “The teacher is very intelligent.” The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?” Little Suzie says, “They are very fashionable.” The teacher says, “Johnny, why don’t you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence.” Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy, ‘Darling, how does my dick taste?’”
My boyfriend recently asked me to suck his cock. I was kinda nervous because I’ve never tasted a dick, but he said it doesn’t taste that bad, so I’ll give it a shot.
Deaf people suck lots of dicks.
They can't hear!
What do gay horses eat?
Horse dick.
What are the four letters you don’t want to hear from a dentist?
I C D K
I can make a word with those: "DICK".
What's the difference between a dick and a cannon?
Your dick shots longer.
Life's like a dick. Women make it hard for no reason.
What's harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree?
My dick while I'm doing it.
My girlfriend said, "GIMME EIGHT INCHES AND MAKE IT HURT!"
So I pumped my dick in her 4 times and hit her in the head with a brick.
My dick.
Femboys are looking kinda tasty for a date, especially the dick and their balls.