Dick jokes

When I nailed the quiz, my teacher wasn't very happy. I wasn't either with all those paper cuts.

Oof.

Girl lol feel dick in mouth on you.

What's your mom and a dog got in common?

Both will lick dick if you put peanut butter on it.

Who gets more dick, straight male rap fans or straight male swifties? Answer: Straight male rap fans, because there’s no such thing as a straight male swiftie.

Why are Indians dark?

Because they are born and bred in chicken curry.

Why is Bill the bad guy?

Monica wanted to suck dick.

A girl did squats everyday with a 20 pound weight in her hand to finally text her boyfriend, "Show me your dick now!"

I was on a website doing homework, and there was this funny a** commercial banner saying: "Eat a bag of Dick's!" It was the funniest sh*t ever!

Best pick up line EVER.

There is an app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12 to 15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12 to 15 inches longer.

My dick harder than stone, man.

What does a dick and an elderly person have in common? They are both short.

How does a hillbilly mother know when her daughter is on her period? Her son’s dick tastes like blood.

It turns into ligma.

Brother: What's ligma?

Big Brother: Ligma dick!

Wanna suck my dick?

No? Well then I'm gonna go hang.

The woman had a dick, lol, it's your mom ahahahahahaha, yeah YOU! Jhon man! In New York City I am on to you! I will be under your bed tonight lol get a bodyguard!

What do you call two terrorists standing next to each other with their dicks out?

The Twin Towers.

When you get to feel a dick in you, then suck bro, all your stress [goes] out the window.

What do you call a dick with three eyes?

Preston.

"The size doesn’t matter" - Ana from Frozen.

I wanna date you.

Said mom, dad said no, you are a horrid, f*cking d*ck.