Dick jokes
A man goes for a pee in a haunted house.
He unzips his pants at the urinal when a man dressed as a goblin chuckles next to him. "You got a small dick, buddy," the man says to him.
How do I make my dick disappear?
I put it in your dad.
A hobo couple is making out under a bridge.
The girlfriend goes: - Johnny, why is your dick so soft? - Flip me over, I’m trying to shit!
Kid: Why is Pluto a dwarf planet?
Kid 2: Why?
Kid: 'Cause it's as short as your dick.
This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"
Memes
Girl lol feel dick in mouth on you.
When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:
"Enjoy the little things."
Why are Indians dark?
Because they are born and bred in chicken curry.
Does that dick match that forehead? 👀
Trust.
Cannibals sucking each other's dick.
Why did Kenny die?
Was he trying to kill himself? Was he just dicking around?
What does a dick and an elderly person have in common? They are both short.
How does a hillbilly mother know when her daughter is on her period? Her son’s dick tastes like blood.
"The size doesn’t matter" - Ana from Frozen.
What do you call a dick with three eyes?
Preston.
Wanna suck my dick?
No? Well then I'm gonna go hang.
The woman had a dick, lol, it's your mom ahahahahahaha, yeah YOU! Jhon man! In New York City I am on to you! I will be under your bed tonight lol get a bodyguard!
What do you call two terrorists standing next to each other with their dicks out?
The Twin Towers.
It turns into ligma.
Brother: What's ligma?
Big Brother: Ligma dick!
Why is Bill the bad guy?
Monica wanted to suck dick.