Dick jokes
What's the difference between your mom and a fat female cow...
A female cow doesn't have a dick.
Fancy playing rodeo sex?
"OK then," she said!
Then put your dick in her ass and say it’s not as tight as your sister’s ass and hold on for dear life... real life cow bow boy shit!
YOUR MOM sucks my dick 24/7.
BULLY vs. QUIET KID
Bully: I bet your dick is as small as a Tic Tac.
Quiet Kid: That's why your mom's breath smells so good.
QUIET KID WINS
How do you f**k a sheep?
Put your d**k in it and face it off the cliff edge. It'll keep going backwards as you push forwards.
My dick is hard as a rock, anyone wanna fuck?
He probably picks hair off his dad’s dick, then probably puts it in his hair.
My dick is longer than your life.
Why did the dick suck my ass? They died.
I knew a girl called Melissa, but she was a tranny, and he could suck his own dick.
Dick sucking.
What's a little white dot on a priest's dick? A baby tooth.
A man was asked by his 21 years old daughter, "Dad, how do you give a blowjob to a man that has a big dick?"
Her father replied, "Honey, you should have watched me last night. It was inside my mouth. Does it cycle now?"
There is a Mexican sitting on a train.
The guy sitting next to him says, "I have a big dick."
The Mexican decides to get a lawnmower and some clippers. When he got off the train, the police found a dead body with no dick and pube hairs.
What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick.
Jay and Andrew are best friends who are almost alike. The difference between them both is Jay is poor and well... Andrew, on the other hand, is suck-a-dick poor. Let me explain, Jay wakes up in his room, walks to the kitchen, and asks his mom, Lisa (I call her Lisa now, btw), if there is anything to eat. "No, bitch!" she replies, so Jay drinks a glass of milk and goes back to bed.
Now Andrew... wakes up, jumps out of bed, and he's in the kitchen. He sees his mom fixing some food for work after a long hard night of giving her husband blue balls. "Anything left for me, Mother?" Andrew asks. "Sorry, Honey, I have to eat to put food on the table and to get the running again." *so she goes to work, taking her time* Andrew sits by his bedside and says to himself, "Man... I'd suck a dick for some water right now." *his mom storms back after hearing what he had said* "I'll buy you a soda if you do my first customer for me!"
Dick.
Only Dick Rapeboat got is his rhyming dictionary.
What's thick, 12 inches, and in your mum's throat?
My penis.
I was blessed with a 9-inch dick. Fair to say that priest is in jail now.