Dick jokes
What should people do with their floppy dicks?
I give them a good wiggle waggle to raise awareness of something!
Yo momma so slutty, she did a mukbang video with dicks instead of food.
A man goes for a pee in a haunted house.
He unzips his pants at the urinal when a man dressed as a goblin chuckles next to him. "You got a small dick, buddy," the man says to him.
When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:
"Enjoy the little things."
When I nailed the quiz, my teacher wasn't very happy. I wasn't either with all those paper cuts.
Oof.
Girl lol feel dick in mouth on you.
If you're feeling numb, use your thumb.
Why are Indians dark?
Because they are born and bred in chicken curry.
Does that dick match that forehead? 👀
Why did Kenny die?
Was he trying to kill himself? Was he just dicking around?
Trust.
Cannibals sucking each other's dick.
How does a hillbilly mother know when her daughter is on her period? Her son’s dick tastes like blood.
What does a dick and an elderly person have in common? They are both short.
It turns into ligma.
Brother: What's ligma?
Big Brother: Ligma dick!
Why is Bill the bad guy?
Monica wanted to suck dick.
A girl did squats everyday with a 20 pound weight in her hand to finally text her boyfriend, "Show me your dick now!"
I was on a website doing homework, and there was this funny a** commercial banner saying: "Eat a bag of Dick's!" It was the funniest sh*t ever!
My dick harder than stone, man.
Best pick up line EVER.
There is an app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12 to 15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12 to 15 inches longer.
"The size doesn’t matter" - Ana from Frozen.