Dick jokes
A man goes for a pee in a haunted house.
He unzips his pants at the urinal when a man dressed as a goblin chuckles next to him. "You got a small dick, buddy," the man says to him.
When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:
"Enjoy the little things."
Girl lol feel dick in mouth on you.
Who gets more dick, straight male rap fans or straight male swifties? Answer: Straight male rap fans, because there’s no such thing as a straight male swiftie.
Why is it that a physically disabled gay white male will refuse to ask his boss that is an abled bodied gay white male for an increase in his paycheck?
Since he has a very big white dick in his mouth, that could be the reason why.
What's your mom and a dog got in common?
Both will lick dick if you put peanut butter on it.
If you're feeling numb, use your thumb.
When I nailed the quiz, my teacher wasn't very happy. I wasn't either with all those paper cuts.
Oof.
What do dicks and Rubik's Cubes have in common?
The more you play with them, the harder they get.
Why are Indians dark?
Because they are born and bred in chicken curry.
Why is Bill the bad guy?
Monica wanted to suck dick.
When you get to feel a dick in you, then suck bro, all your stress [goes] out the window.
What do you call two terrorists standing next to each other with their dicks out?
The Twin Towers.
Wanna suck my dick?
No? Well then I'm gonna go hang.
The woman had a dick, lol, it's your mom ahahahahahaha, yeah YOU! Jhon man! In New York City I am on to you! I will be under your bed tonight lol get a bodyguard!
It turns into ligma.
Brother: What's ligma?
Big Brother: Ligma dick!
What does a dick and an elderly person have in common? They are both short.
How does a hillbilly mother know when her daughter is on her period? Her son’s dick tastes like blood.
Best pick up line EVER.
There is an app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12 to 15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12 to 15 inches longer.
I was on a website doing homework, and there was this funny a** commercial banner saying: "Eat a bag of Dick's!" It was the funniest sh*t ever!