Dick jokes
How do I make my dick disappear?
I put it in your dad.
What should people do with their floppy dicks?
I give them a good wiggle waggle to raise awareness of something!
I suck Cyrus's dick when he is sleeping.
Kid: Why is Pluto a dwarf planet?
Kid 2: Why?
Kid: 'Cause it's as short as your dick.
A hobo couple is making out under a bridge.
The girlfriend goes: - Johnny, why is your dick so soft? - Flip me over, I’m trying to shit!
Yo momma so slutty, she did a mukbang video with dicks instead of food.
This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"
"Sike, I lied, your dick is dry."
A man goes for a pee in a haunted house.
He unzips his pants at the urinal when a man dressed as a goblin chuckles next to him. "You got a small dick, buddy," the man says to him.
Why are Indians dark?
Because they are born and bred in chicken curry.
Why do lesbians go to Sports Authority?
Because they don't like Dick's!
What is 6-inch long, in every men's pants or hands, and girls want?
- A smartphone, freak.
What do Donald Trump and a dick have in common?
Liberals can't keep either one out of their mouths.
"Dick, you're fired."
"I'd buy that for a dollar."
Did you hear that story "Three Lines in the Sand?" By dickadraggin'.
Friend: Do you know him?
Other Friend: Know who?
Friend: My dick!
Does that dick match that forehead? 👀
Why did Kenny die?
Was he trying to kill himself? Was he just dicking around?
Why is Bill the bad guy?
Monica wanted to suck dick.
What does a dick and an elderly person have in common? They are both short.