My dick harder than stone, man.
Dick Jokes
What does a dick and an elderly person have in common? They are both short.
How does a hillbilly mother know when her daughter is on her period? Her son’s dick tastes like blood.
It turns into ligma.
Brother: What's ligma?
Big Brother: Ligma dick!
Wanna suck my dick?
No? Well then I'm gonna go hang.
The woman had a dick, lol, it's your mom ahahahahahaha, yeah YOU! Jhon man! In New York City I am on to you! I will be under your bed tonight lol get a bodyguard!
What do you call two terrorists standing next to each other with their dicks out?
The Twin Towers.
How do you know if your sister's on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes funny.
What's worse than fingering your sister?
Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.
When you get to feel a dick in you, then suck bro, all your stress [goes] out the window.
What do you call a dick with three eyes?
Preston.
"The size doesn’t matter" - Ana from Frozen.
I wanna date you.
Said mom, dad said no, you are a horrid, f*cking d*ck.
Why did Kenny die?
Was he trying to kill himself? Was he just dicking around?
Friend: Do you know him?
Other Friend: Know who?
Friend: My dick!
Did you hear that story "Three Lines in the Sand?" By dickadraggin'.
"Dick, you're fired."
"I'd buy that for a dollar."
Trust.
Cannibals sucking each other's dick.
Does that dick match that forehead? 👀
A man comes to an assassin who charges $1000 per shot. He tells the assassin, "My wife's been cheating on me. I want you to shoot her in the head and shoot the guy in the dick." When they arrive, they wait. The man asks why he hasn't taken the shot. The assassin says, "I know how I can save you $1000."
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