A girl did squats everyday with a 20 pound weight in her hand to finally text her boyfriend, "Show me your dick now!"
Dick Jokes
I was on a website doing homework, and there was this funny a** commercial banner saying: "Eat a bag of Dick's!" It was the funniest sh*t ever!
Best pick up line EVER.
There is an app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12 to 15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12 to 15 inches longer.
My dick harder than stone, man.
What does a dick and an elderly person have in common? They are both short.
How does a hillbilly mother know when her daughter is on her period? Her sonโs dick tastes like blood.
It turns into ligma.
Brother: What's ligma?
Big Brother: Ligma dick!
Wanna suck my dick?
No? Well then I'm gonna go hang.
The woman had a dick, lol, it's your mom ahahahahahaha, yeah YOU! Jhon man! In New York City I am on to you! I will be under your bed tonight lol get a bodyguard!
What do you call two terrorists standing next to each other with their dicks out?
The Twin Towers.
How do you know if your sister's on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes funny.
What's worse than fingering your sister?
Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.
When you get to feel a dick in you, then suck bro, all your stress [goes] out the window.
What do you call a dick with three eyes?
Preston.
"The size doesnโt matter" - Ana from Frozen.
I wanna date you.
Said mom, dad said no, you are a horrid, f*cking d*ck.
Why did Kenny die?
Was he trying to kill himself? Was he just dicking around?
Friend: Do you know him?
Other Friend: Know who?
Friend: My dick!
Did you hear that story "Three Lines in the Sand?" By dickadraggin'.
"Dick, you're fired."
"I'd buy that for a dollar."
Trust.
Cannibals sucking each other's dick.
