Dick jokes
Girl lol feel dick in mouth on you.
A hobo couple is making out under a bridge.
The girlfriend goes: - Johnny, why is your dick so soft? - Flip me over, I’m trying to shit!
How do I make my dick disappear?
I put it in your dad.
This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"
"Sike, I lied, your dick is dry."
What should people do with their floppy dicks?
I give them a good wiggle waggle to raise awareness of something!
Kid: Why is Pluto a dwarf planet?
Kid 2: Why?
Kid: 'Cause it's as short as your dick.
A man goes for a pee in a haunted house.
He unzips his pants at the urinal when a man dressed as a goblin chuckles next to him. "You got a small dick, buddy," the man says to him.
Yo momma so slutty, she did a mukbang video with dicks instead of food.
When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:
"Enjoy the little things."
When I nailed the quiz, my teacher wasn't very happy. I wasn't either with all those paper cuts.
Oof.
Why are Indians dark?
Because they are born and bred in chicken curry.
Trust.
Cannibals sucking each other's dick.
What is 6-inch long, in every men's pants or hands, and girls want?
- A smartphone, freak.
Why do lesbians go to Sports Authority?
Because they don't like Dick's!
Why did Kenny die?
Was he trying to kill himself? Was he just dicking around?
Does that dick match that forehead? 👀
What does a dick and an elderly person have in common? They are both short.
How does a hillbilly mother know when her daughter is on her period? Her son’s dick tastes like blood.
What do you call two terrorists standing next to each other with their dicks out?
The Twin Towers.