Depression

Depression jokes

Economy

Call me a bad economy with high interest rates and low spending, 'cause I'm in a great depression.

Life

More expresso, less depresso. Jk, let's all drink bleach cuz life is a bitch.

Sloth

what do sloths and depressed people have in common? ... they both hang from trees.

People

To people who say that depression hits hard...

The car begs to disagree.

Food

I live in China and we have no food. We have to eat Chinese food, so I called my dog over.

Dog

There's nothing else that can beat up dog.

What's up, dog?

Just my depression!

Kid

When the depressed kid runs out of eyeliner, so he says "fruit ninja" with his wrists.

Cat

You got a black cat.

He was bad luck.

Everyone left you and you committed suicide.

What a CATastrophe!

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  • Soul

    My Bff: Hey do want any coffee?

    Me: Yeh, of course.

    My Bff: Ok which one?

    Me: You know... the black one.

    Me: Like my soul...

    My Bff: Jeez you ok?

    Suicide

    Imagine you're playing GTA and you finally found out how to take out a gun: Option 1: shoot someone Option 2: suicide

    Me: Aren't they the same thing?

    Cliff

    Mum: If your friend jumped off a cliff, would you?

    Me: Oh yeah, no doubt my friend wouldn't even have to jump first.

    People

    People trying to stop me from being depressed: “Just cheer up!”

    Me: “WOW, I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT!”

    Shot

    A depressed guy walks into a bar and says, "Can I get shot?"

    The bartender then says, "You mean, can you get a shot, right?"

    The bartender then says, "Well... what drink would you like?"

    The depressed guy then responds with, "No, I really want to get shot."