Depression jokes
The last words of a depressive person are: "Yay, Freedom."
Me: "Oh man, things are really happening for me! I have so much to do!"
Depression: "Lie in bed."
Call me a bad economy with high interest rates and low spending, 'cause I'm in a great depression.
what do sloths and depressed people have in common? ... they both hang from trees.
To people who say that depression hits hard...
The car begs to disagree.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso espresso.
I live in China and we have no food. We have to eat Chinese food, so I called my dog over.
Sometimes a depressed person is antidepression.
I hate life, and I'm gay.
There's nothing else that can beat up dog.
What's up, dog?
Just my depression!
your mom
When the depressed kid runs out of eyeliner, so he says "fruit ninja" with his wrists.
Your hairline's so far back that five hour energy became a five day depression.
You got a black cat.
He was bad luck.
Everyone left you and you committed suicide.
What a CATastrophe!
My Bff: Hey do want any coffee?
Me: Yeh, of course.
My Bff: Ok which one?
Me: You know... the black one.
Me: Like my soul...
My Bff: Jeez you ok?
Imagine you're playing GTA and you finally found out how to take out a gun: Option 1: shoot someone Option 2: suicide
Me: Aren't they the same thing?
A depressed guy walks into a bar and says, "Can I get shot?"
The bartender then says, "You mean, can you get a shot, right?"
The bartender then says, "Well... what drink would you like?"
The depressed guy then responds with, "No, I really want to get shot."
Mum: If your friend jumped off a cliff, would you?
Me: Oh yeah, no doubt my friend wouldn't even have to jump first.
People trying to stop me from being depressed: “Just cheer up!”
Me: “WOW, I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT!”
Hey, I just found out my toaster is waterproof! :D