Depression jokes
Knock knock. Who's there? Depression. That's my best friend.
Me: The light wow brighter than my future.
If I was an object in this world, I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge, I will likely shatter and break.
Suicide is just freedom, life is just full of pain... Sometimes if you're gone maybe somebody might notice. Feels like life is a maze and the only way to leave is the exit. Nobody notices your pain, your suffering, and that you try your best though everyone notices your mistakes. Life just feels like everyone hates you. Life for me is just faking smiles, I'm not sure how everyone lives such a good life.
The cure for depression is around the corner... There it is, the train.
People trying to stop me from being depressed: “Just cheer up!”
Me: “WOW, I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT!”
1 minute silence for those who still think thoughts can't kill you.
Why did the depressed kid cross the road?
To get hit by a car.
How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.
Your hairline's so far back that five hour energy became a five day depression.
Life is like a game of chess.
I don’t know how to play chess.
Two friends fighting.
Friend 3: "Cut it out, you two!"
Friend 4: "It wouldn't help if they cut it out... Believe me... I've tried..."
My ex-boyfriend tried to scan himself at the supermarket checkout for fun.
“See how I can’t scan myself? It’s because I’m priceless.”
I decided I’d scan my wrist too, just for fun.
Found out I’m worth $3.97.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Your mom.
Fuck you you rwind my life.
Can I die?
I had to stop using cutting jokes because they were getting too deep.
You know what flowers and depressed people have in common?
Both end up getting cut.
Hey, I just found out my toaster is waterproof! :D
*Watches sad movie with family*
Everyone else: *Crying*
Sister: How aren't you crying?
Me: I have no tears left to cry...
Why did you go depressed?
Because you’re you.