Decision jokes

I can't decide if I like rocking chairs or not.

I keep going back and forth on them.

Who were the people that survived 9/11?

The ones who decided it would be a good idea to jump.

I'd tell a bad baby joke, but I decided to abort.

A 17 year old pregnant Juanita flew all the way to NY from TX to get an abortion. Initially, she was denied the procedure because she wasn't COVID boosted, but after she explained the father was religious and wanted to be involved, they quickly resolved the threat.

Why did the boy get a koala? He had the koalafications.

A guy tells his pal, "My wife is expecting. We're going to the clinic to see if it's a girl or a boy."

"Congrats, man. What are you gonna name it if it's a boy?"

"We're going with Trevor."

"Ok, what if it's a girl?"

"Then we'll have an abortion."

I was about to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.

Aunt: On the internet, buying weight loss pills for 15 dollars.

Niece: I found that show on Netflix that you wanted to watch. It's 3 dollars to watch.

Aunt: I'm not paying for that shit.

Niece: Yet you sit there and buy weight loss pills.

My mom said, "Don't jump off, we need you."

I said, "No," then I jumped off a building and died.

Here's a joke: Your life decisions.

You went the wrong way. Always choose the right path.

My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.

If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.

I'm what they call a ✨️askhole✨️.

A person who will consistently ask for your advice and wisdom, but then proceed to do the exact opposite of what you say.

Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?

Because it was made by the same company that made their life decisions.

Some rules of childhood cricket:

1. Whose bat, his batting.

2. Mother called to go while fielding. Then the turn will not be missed.

3. If the Umpire's decision is not acceptable, the decision of the Spectator, Front Uncle, or Neighbor Aunt shall be final.

Guys, should I do it? You know what I mean.

Free will is like having a vagina. You don't need to know how to use it, and you don't need to know what it does, but what matters is that you have it.

I rub lipstick on my forehead to make up my mind.

Three friends were stuck in the desert. They were struggling and trying to find food when they found a magical lamp. They rubbed it and out came a genie, and the genie says, "Each of you friends get to have one wish." So the first friend said, "I wish to go home," same as the second one. The third friend said, "I'm lonely. I wish my friends were with me!"

What takes knowledge to do and also takes knowledge away?

Looking down the barrel and pulling the trigger. 😂