Decision

Decision Jokes

Woman

Women should have the right to choose whether they want to do cooking or cleaning first.

Movie

Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson has made a laudable, command decision to omit real firearms from his movie sets.

This being the case, he ought to produce, direct, and star in his next movie titled: “The Rubber Gun Squad!” 👌 😉

Suicide

A suicidal customer walks into a gun store.

Cashier: Is this your final purchase?

Customer: Actually, yes it is!

Boulder

What does it mean when a man sits on a boulder instead of on the ground?

A bolder choice.

Infant

My infant drew on the walls today, but I don’t know how to punish them. So I think I’ll sleep on it.

Abortion

When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.

Motorcycle

When I finished high school, I wanted to take my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle, but my mom said no.

See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was eighteen, and I could just have his motorcycle.

Essay

If this gets 10 comments (I don't care about likes) I will write a four page essay and post it, and it's up to you guys what it's about.

Assault

I just prevented an 11-year-old from getting assaulted.

I decided to go home.

Assault

I just prevented a 10-year-old from getting assaulted.

Nothing much, I just decided to go home.

Children

My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.

If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.