Decision jokes

A suicidal customer walks into a gun store.

Cashier: Is this your final purchase?

Customer: Actually, yes it is!

Marry or don't marry, you will regret both!

Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson has made a laudable, command decision to omit real firearms from his movie sets.

This being the case, he ought to produce, direct, and star in his next movie titled: “The Rubber Gun Squad!” 👌 😉

Guys, comment below if I should do a name reveal!

I met an orphan with a dog yesterday. I chose the dog.

Women should have the right to choose whether they want to do cooking or cleaning first.

What does it mean when a man sits on a boulder instead of on the ground?

A bolder choice.

I wasn't going to have a brain transplant...

But then I changed my mind.

I wanted to get brain surgery.

I changed my mind.

When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.

My infant drew on the walls today, but I don’t know how to punish them. So I think I’ll sleep on it.

I am not making a noose; I am making an unsubscribe button for life.

When I finished high school, I wanted to take my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle, but my mom said no.

See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was eighteen, and I could just have his motorcycle.

My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.

If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

I just prevented an 11-year-old from getting assaulted.

I decided to go home.

If this gets 10 comments (I don't care about likes) I will write a four page essay and post it, and it's up to you guys what it's about.

Why did the deer cross the road? Its friends deered it to.

What type of bee can't make up his mind?

A maybe.

So things are just too tiring to sort out... like which adoption center you should send your son to?

I'd tell a bad baby joke, but I decided to abort.