guys should i do it? you know what i mean.
The woman was thinking she wanted to have sex but one second later she did on the street with a criminal
Id tell a bad baby joke, but I decided to abort
One day a local pastor was visiting the home of some parishioners who had a teenage son. The parents were worried about what career their son would choose, so the pastor said he had a simple test that could predict what would become of him.
He would put three objects on a table and let the young man choose whichever one he wanted to have: a Bible, a wallet, and a bottle of scotch. If the boy chose the Bible, he would probably become a priest; if he chose the wallet, he'd be a banker; and if he chose the bottle, he'd become a worthless bum.
So the parents called their son into the room, and the pastor told him he could have whichever object he wished. When the boy promptly picked up all three, the pastor cried out, "Heaven forbid! He's going to be a Jesuit!"
I just prevented a 10-year-old from getting assaulted Nothing much I just decided to go home
I just prevented an 11-year-old from getting assaulted I decided to go home
Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?
Because it was made by the same company that made their life decisions.
I'm what they call a ✨️askhole✨️
A person who will consistently ask for your advice and wisdom, but then proceed to do the exact opposite of what you say
i went to the pharmacy the other day. i tried to buy a pack of condoms but i pretended i didnt have enough money to mess with the cashier. i went back into the aisles of the store got a pack of rubber bands and plastic wrap bought them and walked out. i loved the look on the casheirs face when they saw my decision.
Two priests are driving down a road when they are pulled over by the cops.
The cop shines a light in their faces and signals to the driver to roll down his window.
"We're searching for two child molesters," he says.
The driver leans over to the other priest and they whisper between themselves.
Finally, he turns back to the policeman. "Ok. We'll do it."
I rub lipstick on my forehead to make up my mind
I've thought about suicide, but there's always been a part of me that knows I wouldn't be able to live with the decision
Some rules of childhood cricket:
1. Whose bat his batting
2. Mother called,
To go while fielding. Then the turn will not be missed.
3. If the Umpire's decision is not acceptable, the decision of the Spectator, Front Uncle or Neighbor Aunt shall be final.
A suicidal customer walks into a gun store...
Cashier: Is this your final purchase?
Customer: Actually, yes it is!
I told myself the other night after a long night at the bar that I should stop drinking. But why should I listen to a drunk who talks to himself?
Guy: Whose place? Mine or yours? Girl: Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.
My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
A depressed man buys a gun for suicide but then thinks "maybe i shouldn't be doing this" and asks a friend for help. He returns with a rope.
Marry or don't marry, you will regret both!
My opinion on abortion is very divided. Like, on the one hand, I like the idea of killing babies, but I'm not really into this thing about women being able to make choices.
