Death jokes

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Why is it that when women decide to kill an unborn baby, it's a "CHOICE," but when I decide to drive my F-150 into a playground full of kids, it's called "MURDER"!

The secret to dark humor is the delivery... oh wait, the baby was stillborn.

My grandpa has a world record for holding his breath. He's been holding it for 6 years.

So, a kid walks in the house and says, "Mommy, Mommy, I found daddy!" And the mother says, "Stop digging around in the garden, and let your father rest in peace."

I'll always remember my dad's last words... "Why do you have an axe? We live in the city!"

I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to join my family tree... She dropped the rope and ran.

What is Mozart doing right now? -- Decomposing.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, but not like the other passengers in the car with him.

Murder is the same as suicide, except the other person is doing it for you.

Orphan: "I want to kill my parents."

People: "I don't think you have the facilities for that, big man."

What makes suicide illegal? Getting caught.

Think everyone who wrote these jokes are dead yet?

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead bodies?

I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.