Death jokes
When you have a box of dead babies in your garage and one of them is alive at the bottom and has to eat its way out but goes back for seconds.
What would you do if you were killed?
It's way too soon for Kobe jokes.
They never land well.
The earth was once flat... until they buried your mom.
Are you a gravestone?
Because I really wish you were on top of me right now!
Memes
He always comes back
What keeps an emo kid from hitting the ground?
The rope.
Q: How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
A: You give them a Sandy Hook.
Kms.
How did the orphan lose its parents?
Its parents never came back from getting milk.
Person: You can't kill an orphan!
Me: What are they going to do, go tell their parents?
Q. What did the United Healthcare CEO say after he got shot? A. I don't know. I don't own a Ouija board.
What instrument do skeletons play?
The Trombone!
Why didn't the child go to school?
Because he died of a heroin overdose.
I locked Terri Schiavo in the freezer.
Hey, I thought that's where you were supposed to put vegetables!
My best friend was recently gunned down in a drive-by shooting and died a virgin, but he wasn’t buried one.
“Life is going swimmingly,”
“Tell that to Whitney Houston.”
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
My history teacher asked my class what time they would go back to just to see what happened.
I said I'd go back to Hitler's childhood to tell him the lies that he becomes the ruler of the world by starting the Nazis, and leave his death out of the discussion.
About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him, "Bitches always come and go." He looked at me kinda mad, kinda confused, and said, "That’s my mom, dude."
What did Tupac's homies smoke? His ashes.
It would've been too tacky to take a shot in his memory.