Death jokes

I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white woman. He chopped her up and put her in the woods, the suck fuck.

If the noose breaks, stab yourself!

If the knife is dull, shoot yourself!

If the gun's out of ammo, *YOU'RE HERE TO SUFFER ETERNALLY.*

A skeleton decided to become an assassin.

He was always skull-king around!

How do you make an orphan clap until his hands bleed?

Tell him to clap until his parents come home.

Anonymous 1: Why are you crying?

Anonymous 2: No, buddy, come to my finral.

I didn't steal it. 🌚

Emo: Phone die.

Emo: Why not me? ;(

Harry Potter is now Harry Orphan.

I’m rather relaxed about death.

From quite an early age, I’ve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.

Stephen Hawking died because his screw fell out.

What’s red and white and black all over?

A dead white man at night time!

So Little Johnny saw a robbery, so he tried to stop the robber. To the robber's surprise, he was amazed. So Johnny got 20 shots to the head. The End.

People joking about 9/11.

Random kid: "You shouldn’t joke about that! I lost my dad on 9/11."

Oh.

"Yeah, he was the greatest pilot ever!"

What do ya call an emo that's hung himself? Hangman.

My grandma just died from cancer.

My last words to her were “I like your cut, G.”

How to make an orphan's feet bleed? Make them run in place until their parents get them.

Did you hear about the dead Italian chef?

He pasta way!

Little Johnny went to the beach, found some cocaine, and died. The end.

"My parents are dead, lol," said the orphan.

Man, I am jealous of the victims of 9/11. They are the fastest readers, who went through 87 stories in 8 seconds.

A person told an orphan to not move; otherwise, they would kill their parents. What did the orphan do?

It danced its a** off.