Death jokes
Coworker: Knock knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Coworker: Not your parents.
A feather and a depressed boy fell at the same time, which one hits the ground first?
The feather, because the rope stopped the child.
I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!
My ex died in an anchorage accident.
She always was a sleeping hooker.
If an apple and an emo kid fell out of a tree, which would hit the ground first?
The apple, because the rope caught the emo kid.
A kid had school today.
He was late every single day. He said in his mind, "I wish I can go to school again." What happened? It's obvious...... He died :)
I wish that when Mario dies to some random object, I died too.
Before my grandad died, he whispered to me, "Is your uncle still in the basement?" I said he has died. Oh, my grandad said, "I will lock him in heaven's basement."
What's the worst thing you can say to a widow?
"I'm sorry, I just had to."
I still remember my dad's last words: "Don't worry son, Allah will be pleased."
How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff?
Because they found her Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment!
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His core i5 Overheated. XD
From your Dad.
I won’t be back for a while, it’s a very long line.
Do you have a halo, cause I can give you one.
When you say to your friend, "I've got your back," then at his funeral you see in his coffin he's missing his middle piece.
A few days after her husband’s death, a widow accidentally receives an email from a man waiting for his wife in Spain.
The email reads: "Dearest Wife, just got checked in. Everything [is] prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P. S. It’s really hot down here!"
What’s the worst thing about being suicidal?
The school shooter will always spare you.
People should build orphanages next to graveyards so at least orphans can see their parents.
When your baby is stillborn and you have a funeral, what song should you never play?
Alphaville - "Forever Young."
Me: I saw your parents yesterday.
Orphan girl: Where?
Me: The coffin was still open.