Death jokes
What’s the difference between dead babies and a cat?
The cat is still alive.
What’s the difference between cat food and tonight’s dinner?
Nothing, it’s all just mystery meat.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment.
What's the best part about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.
Don’t cry when you attend my funeral, I was dead long ago so why cry now?
You can find perfectly cooked Kobe in a Japanese restaurant, but you can only find burnt Kobe in Calabasas.
exactly
I can’t help you find orphan jokes. Maybe ask their family.
Monkey Man's mortuary, you stab 'em, we slab 'em.
Mom: Are you seriously gonna die?
Me: No. Don't worry. Suicide is the last thing I'll do.
2020 was the first time Kobe had passed in years.
I turned off all the beeping machines in the hospital. I love the peace and quiet, but I don't know why everyone is sleeping cause it's only 8 am.
How do you spell racecar backwards?
racecar
How do you spell racecar sideways?
Paul Walker's death.
Your hairline goes back further than when my gran died, and she was buried 6 foot under.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite hobby?
Nothing because he's dead.
My friend has a dry sense of humor.
Probably because her body was decomposed ages ago.
Why were 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 9. Then why was 10 afraid? Because it was between 9/11.
What do you think was going through the heads of the 9/11 victims on floor 43? Floor 44 💀💀
I harvested indigo to make dye. I made the dye. I made a number dye. I dyed the dye. I rolled the dye. It made me die.
Poor Bubba got burnt up so bad in a house fire that the coroner needed someone to identify the body. So Bubba's two best friends (the three were inseparable) agreed. The first friend said, "Hard to tell, can you turn him over?" The coroner looked perplexed but did so. "Nope, that's not Bubba." The second friend said, "He's burnt up pretty bad, can you roll him over again?" The coroner didn't understand but rolled him over anyway. "Nope, that's not him." Pretty confused, the coroner asked, "How can you tell it's not him by rolling him over?" "Well, you see, Bubba had two assholes." "Impossible," the coroner replied. The friends said, "I don't know, but every time we went to town, everyone would say, 'Here comes Bubba with them two assholes.'"
What do you call a downy under water?
Dead fish
What's the difference between three dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't own a Ferrari.
Why did the skeleton not go to the dance?
Because he had no BODY to go with!