Death jokes
Why did Stephen Hawking die? ... Because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep."
Why did the orphan fall off the mountain? Because his parents let go.
I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!
I still remember my dad's last words: "Don't worry son, Allah will be pleased."
Playing Russian roulette alone means you're bound to be a winner eventually.
rip my bird he died :(
Roses are red, violets are blue, you know what else is violent? Suicide with me and you.
My ex died in an anchorage accident.
She always was a sleeping hooker.
A feather and a depressed boy fell at the same time, which one hits the ground first?
The feather, because the rope stopped the child.
I wish that when Mario dies to some random object, I died too.
If an apple and an emo kid fell out of a tree, which would hit the ground first?
The apple, because the rope caught the emo kid.
A kid had school today.
He was late every single day. He said in his mind, "I wish I can go to school again." What happened? It's obvious...... He died :)
What's the worst thing you can say to a widow?
"I'm sorry, I just had to."
Knock knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Not your parents.
Before my grandad died, he whispered to me, "Is your uncle still in the basement?" I said he has died. Oh, my grandad said, "I will lock him in heaven's basement."
Do you have a halo, cause I can give you one.
Beneath this monumental stone Lise, 80 pounds of skin and bone.
How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff?
Because they found her Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment!
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His core i5 Overheated. XD
From your Dad.
I won’t be back for a while, it’s a very long line.
When you say to your friend, "I've got your back," then at his funeral you see in his coffin he's missing his middle piece.