Death jokes

Why don't orphans learn about ancient Egypt? They don't know what mummies are.

Why did little Billy drop his ice cream cone?

Because he got hit by a bus.

Q: What does a dead prostitute and a swimming pool have in common?

A: They're both cold when you first get in, but warm up after a few strokes.

I saw an orphan on the street. I said, "Where are your parents?" He cried and said, "My mum and dad died in a car crash!" 😆😆😂😂🤣

I knew a girl that died from having phone sex... She died of hearing aids.

Which way is quicker to die? Noose or slitting my throat?

One day, a class of children were killed in a bus accident, but only some survived. One was praying that he would survive, and the other said, "First time?"

I don't like making Kobe jokes... they always crash and burn.

Have you heard about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.

Everyone at the Queen's funeral:

Me and the boys getting her reboot card.

I was digging in my backyard and I found gold, and I went to run and tell my mom, but I realized why I was digging in the backyard.

How did 10 die?

Because it was in between 9 and 11.

Is it necrophilia if they die while you're having sex and you just don't realize?

That's what happened to my dog.

This joke is unavailable due to the National Period of Mourning. Please return to this page on the 19th of September.

R.I.P. Queen Elizabeth II. 1926-2022.

Did the people of England see a "game over" sign in the sky when the queen died?

Knock knock. "Who's there?" Not your grandpa, he crashed the plane.

My grandpa died in 9/11. He crashed a plane.

My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.

Wanna suck my dick?

No? Well then I'm gonna go hang.

Hang in there, ya emo bastards! Remember, you could always be dead. Oh, too soon?

No wonder they wanna die so much. I'd wanna die too if I was a freak who listens to Black Veil Brides!

Anybody got a knife? I mean, an emo dildo?