How do you break an orphan's wall in their room in the orphanage?
Tell them to put a tally on the wall with a pen for every second their parents are missing.
Are you with Alex?
Fucking retarded. Go dig a home die, people!
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
Why is it better to date an orphan?
Their parents are never home.
What is Meat Loaf's new name now that he has passed?
Ground beef.
Your loved one dies and you call the Coroner's office. They answer, "Hello, this is Benny from the Coroner's office, you stab 'em, we slab 'em, how may I be of service?"
Who's Paul Walker's close friend?
Tree.
Saying a Kobe joke after he died tends to ignite a fire in the people you say it to.
So you're in a hospital, you barely survive your suicide attempt. You see one of the scalpels, you finish the job.
It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between "antidote" and "anecdote," one of my best friends would still be alive.
Gather 6 friends to play Russian roulette, and one's mind will be blown away.
Your forehead so big, I think that's what Kobe crashed into.
What's cold, blue and makes women cry?
Cot death.
I fucked your mom, oh wait, you don't have one.
When I finished high school, I wanted to take my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle, but my mom said no.
See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was eighteen, and I could just have his motorcycle.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
His parents were on the other side!
Imagine losing your child in WW2 and your son fucking respawns, so you tell him off for not getting enough kills.
What do you call a dead woman in the back of your car?
Idk, I just have a couple in the backseat.
What if plants are farming us, giving us oxygen until we die, and turn into natural fertilizer which helps them?
Why did I kill?
Because I'm dumb.
