Death jokes

The last words of a depressive person are: "Yay, Freedom."

What did the tree say to the kid with the rope?

Nothing, he was hanging.

Hey, my grandfather was part of WWII. Yeah. He killed Hitler!

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

Cause he would never look both ways.

Why did the dick suck my ass? They died.

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says: "I'll have some H2O."

The second one says: "I'll have some H2O, too." And then he died.

I wanted to do something nice for my uncle, so I cleaned out the nice vase that was given at grandma's funeral. It had so much sand, I'm glad to help.

I saw a helicopter fly. Next minute, I knew Kobe was on the news.

Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff? Neither did I til I seen his Head and Shoulders on the dashboard.

Your mom! Oh wait, you don't have one.

I stood on the edge of a building and someone yelled, "Do a flip!"..... and I did.

"Hey, I heard you were a bit down—where's John?"

"He died."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I got you food."

(After they eat) "Hey, how did John taste seasoned and cooked?"

What has 4 limbs and can make a sidewalk red? Me falling from a 20 story building.

I asked the emo kid how it was hanging. He didn't reply because the rope was too tight.

I told my mom to get rope for a project, and when she got home, I got the good old coat hanger out and hung myself up.

I get so many things stuck in my head, though, unfortunately none of them were a bullet.

Your dad's hairline was so long that he died.

Me testing if there is fall damage in real life (falls off of a cliff, uses water bucket trick) dies.

Why did the skeleton not go to the party? Because he had no body to go with.

Follow me.

I heard a noise, so I'm dead.