Preventing suicide is best done by committing it.
My Grandmother died last month. The thing that bugs me to this day, I couldn't understand her last words... through the pillow.
A man is on his deathbed in prison by electric chair.
The man who controls the chair asks for any last words.
The prisoner replies with: “Can you hold my hand?”
So, I was at a funeral the other day, and it was a school shooting mass funeral. The lady beside me asked me, “What do you think was going through their heads?” And I replied, “Probably a bullet.” She was furious and said, “How dare you! You have no idea what those kids were probably going through!” And I replied, “Well, they were going through anything the bullet was going through them.”
I SH so much, even when I die and become a ghost, you can see red stripes floating around the room.
I asked, "Mom, what's that in the sky?"
Mom replied with, "That's your father."
End everything and your life, Steven Roca!
I think Paul Walker and 9/11 jokes are great, but when I tell them to others, they tend to crash and burn.
There's two reasons guys will hang themselves from the neck.
One is to escape the worthless masquerade of a life we pretend we have, and the second reason is to whack off.
I told a diabetic girl to have sweet dreams...
she died the next morning.
Where do feminists go when they die? "Hell's Kitchen."
Why did Technoblade die?
Cause he wanted to Skyblock in Heaven!
Technoblade can defeat every Minecraft player, but he still can't defeat cancer!
Why does Technoblade love orphans?
'Cause he can relate to their parents!
How did Technoblade actually die?
He got stabbed!
Technoblade NPC: Gets removed from Minecraft!
Technoblade: Gets removed from real life!
Why is Technoblade allowed to make jokes about orphans?
'Cause he's dead like their parents!
I saw an emo orphan by a tree, and I was going to give it a high-five, but instead I just let it hang.
I asked an orphan where his parents were.
(God, I wish I knew)
My cousin asked me, "What do you think was going through Hitler's mind right before he died?"
I told him, "Probably a bullet."
