Death jokes
- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.
- How did the gay person die? Homicide.
- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.
- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.
- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.
- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.
- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.
My dad died in 9/11. At least he did what he loves best: flying planes.
What did the grim reaper say when his favorite car commercial came on? "Safe life repair, safe life replace!"
How did the lesbian die? Homicide.
My grandpa said this generation relies too much on tech, so I unplugged his life support.
How did the gay man die? Homicide.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side!
The 911 people really didn't scramble fast enough, so they got folded like an omelet.
Did the tree high five the emos?
No, he just left them hanging.
You're an orphan.
What did the tree say to the emo kid? Wanna hang?
Blue: The ocean is a place where the creatures live.
Black: NIGHTMARES LIVE!
Blue: It has many pretty things and it will-
Black: KILL YA TO DEATH! Especially if you are on Titanic! So let that sink in. PUN INTENDED!
A guy was dying after getting stabbed in a church. He said to the priest, "Please say a prayer for me," and the priest said, "I ain’t got nun left." Then he died.
A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree. Which one is gonna land first?
The leaf, because the rope stops the emo kid.
Friend 1: Did you?
Depressed friend 2: I didn't!
Friend one: Swear on your life!
Depressed friend 2: I swear.
A week later friend 2 dropped dead to their utter delight.
What does Buzz Lightyear and an orphan's parents have in common?
They go to infinity and beyond.
What did Michael Jackson say before he died, as far as his childhood? "This is it."
If you killed an orphan's family... oh wait!
What falls to the ground first if an apple and an emo kid fall from a tree?
The apple because the rope caught the emo kid.
My mom said the only way to cure depression is to do what she does. She's dead.