Man, I am jealous of the victims of 9/11. They are the fastest readers, who went through 87 stories in 8 seconds.
Technoblade was the second worst thing that happened to orphans.
Guys, they weren’t always orphans!
Why did Michael Jackson die?
Because I have a new phone number, and he does not know.
My friend told me to "hang on" when I told him I wanted to kill myself.
Buddy, I’ll be hanging for sure, just you wait.
New Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid.
Students: Damn.
Teacher: Is anyone missing?
Students: Your parents!
This guy came into my library a year ago and borrowed a book named "How to Commit Suicide." He never returned it.
Coworker: Knock knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Coworker: Not your parents.
My dad died in 9/11, and that was the second worst thing that happened to me with a plane, next to Soul Plane.
"My parents are dead, lol," said the orphan.
What’s the difference between an emo kid and a dead pig?
Suicide squad.
What did the parents say to the orphan? "Where are your parents?"
Oh... wait.
Did you hear about the cemetery? I heard that people are dying to be there.
Thanks for the birthday wishes. It's been an odd one this year, as some of you know, my father suddenly passed away on my birthday last year, and anyone who knew the old man knew he had a sledgehammer wit!
Good on ya dad, ya definitely got the last laugh!
My sister said I was only allowed to grate cheese, so I said to her that I’d prove her wrong.
The next day my mum asked me why my cheese was tan, and I said it was my own special recipe. My mum loved the cheese but she didn’t like it much after the funeral.
What’s the best way to make sure you don’t get COVID?
Suicide.
Why'd the orphan cross the road? He was told his parents were on the other side.
"I'm thinking about killing off the main character in this book I'm writing."
"What type of book is it?"
"An autobiography."
What do you do if you see a nigger shot 50 times? Stop laughing and reload.
If the genie from Aladdin was here, my three wishes would be for you to die, your kids to have a miserable life, and for everyone you love to die.
What was the first thing that went through the 9/11 victims' heads?
Their ankles.
