Why did the dick suck my ass? They died.
Death Jokes
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says: "I'll have some H2O."
The second one says: "I'll have some H2O, too." And then he died.
I wanted to do something nice for my uncle, so I cleaned out the nice vase that was given at grandma's funeral. It had so much sand, I'm glad to help.
I saw a helicopter fly. Next minute, I knew Kobe was on the news.
Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff? Neither did I til I seen his Head and Shoulders on the dashboard.
Your mom! Oh wait, you don't have one.
I stood on the edge of a building and someone yelled, "Do a flip!"..... and I did.
"Hey, I heard you were a bit down—where's John?"
"He died."
"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I got you food."
(After they eat) "Hey, how did John taste seasoned and cooked?"
What has 4 limbs and can make a sidewalk red? Me falling from a 20 story building.
I asked the emo kid how it was hanging. He didn't reply because the rope was too tight.
I told my mom to get rope for a project, and when she got home, I got the good old coat hanger out and hung myself up.
I get so many things stuck in my head, though, unfortunately none of them were a bullet.
Your dad's hairline was so long that he died.
Me testing if there is fall damage in real life (falls off of a cliff, uses water bucket trick) dies.
Why did the skeleton not go to the party? Because he had no body to go with.
Follow me.
I heard a noise, so I'm dead.
My dog died today. 😥
My friends were worried that I was making suicide jokes so much, so I said, "Don't worry, you won't have to hear them much longer."
Why can't Kobe go shopping?
He's dead.
Why do people misplace 9/11 with emo kids? They both have a high death count.
