Death jokes
I'm not lazy, I'm just bone tired. I bet that one tickled your funny bone. It sure got me rattled. Don't try to stop me. I've got a skele-ton of these!
Please don't kill [me].
What's worse than getting raped in a cemetery? Finding someone else's semen in your mom's corpse.
Why was Jesus not good at Basketball?
Because he died in the Cross 😈
What is Beethoven doing right now?
Nothing, because he is dead.
Give a man a fish, feed him for a day.
Give a man a poison fish, feed him for a lifetime.
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
Because his wife died.
"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing, except at a funeral.
Where did Lucy go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
How long does it take for 5 babies to die in the microwave?
I don't know, I can't count while I masturbate...
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
It didn't have the guts to do it.
Where did Sally go when the bomb exploded?
Everywhere.
Why did the cowboy die with his boots on??
He didn’t want to stub his toe when he kicked da bucket 😂🤣👌🏻👌🏻.. knee slapper
Sayo-nara.
Why can't Cleopatra ride a bicycle?
Because she's dead.
THERE IS NO AFTERLIFE.
What's the hardest part of running through a field of dead babies?
My boner.
👌neck
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.
What first went through Sally's head when the Nazis came? A bullet.
Where did Sally go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.
What did Sally get for Christmas? A bike.
What's 6ft long, red, and my girlfriend cries when I feed it to her?
A miscarriage.