Death jokes
When Jim was playing on his phone, my grandfather told him, "You use way too much technology!" Jim then said, "No, YOU use too much technology!" and then Jim disconnected his grandfather’s life support.
Congratulations to Avicii for passing his 3-day milestone of sobriety!
Why did he die so soon? Oh, I know, he forgot to plug in his charger!
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his carer lost his charger.
I love it when cancer hits like a ton of bricks. The best part is when it kills people.
What’s red, blonde, and wet?
Saskia in grain.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He tried to get the free cracked version of Windows 10.
Stephen Hawking drove too far away from the wall and unplugged himself.
Why did Aaron slit his wrists?
Because it's him.
More like so they can fuck him, am I right?
Why does Aaron always look depressed? Because his grandma's dead.
Why do emos like circles? Because they can hang out with them.
What's the difference between a dead baby in a dumpster and a treasure chest? It's a surprise when you find the treasure.
To be brutally honest, I think his wife let him die for money, because they could just plug him back in. Surely they have an Android cable about?
What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.
How do you make a dead baby float?
Two scoops of ice cream, one scoop of dead baby!
What's better than one dead baby?
Two dead babies.
What's the difference between apples and dead babies?
I don't ejaculate on apples before I eat them.
Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy? He died of a yeast infection.
What did the boy say to the noose?
"Can you please tie me."