What's about 12 inches long, has a purple head, and can make women scream all night?
Cot death.
Death Jokes
Did you hear how Stephen Hawking died?
There was a mix up, and he was dropped at PC World instead of A&E!
Dark humor never gets old, just like children with cancer.
What noise does Stephen Hawking make when he dies? Windows shutting down theme tune.
These jokes are nearly as dead as Steven Hawkings.
Stephen Hawking's death was purely accidental. He clicked “shut-down” instead of “sleep”.
What's the best part about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.
I heard Microsoft got charged, why?
They couldn’t reboot Stephen Hawking.
Number 1 ventriloquist dies at age 76, will be mist.
Now that Stephen Hawking is dead, the jokes will start to roll in just like he used to.
In about ten days, Stephen Hawking's wheelchair is going to have its first and last service.
He's not dead, his batteries have run out.
He's not really dead, his update failed.
Stephen Hawking isn't really dead, he's just rebooting.
He's dead now.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He had a computer virus!
An apple a day, or you'll die anyway.
Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?
So you can see the look on its face as you climax.
What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a BMW in my garage.
Time for a story: There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off. How many are left? 499.
What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put in elephant, close fridge.
What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? Open fridge, take out elephant, put in giraffe, close fridge.
The lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend except one, who is it? Giraffe, he's stuck in the fridge.
Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across safely, how? The alligators where at the birthday party.
Sally dies anyway. How? She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
