Death

Death jokes

What's the difference between a dead baby in a dumpster and a treasure chest? It's a surprise when you find the treasure.

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  • To be brutally honest, I think his wife let him die for money, because they could just plug him back in. Surely they have an Android cable about?

    What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.

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  • What's the difference between apples and dead babies?

    I don't ejaculate on apples before I eat them.

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  • Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy? He died of a yeast infection.

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  • What's terrible? Three dead babies nailed to one tree.

    What's worse than that? One dead baby nailed to three trees.

    How did Steven Hawkings die?

    His wife tripped over his charging plug when he was at 2% battery.

    What's the difference between a Lambo and 100 dead babies?

    I don't have a Lambo in my garage.

    Paul Walker's death was a tragedy, but at least he went out in a blaze of glory.

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  • How many babies does it take to change a lightbulb?

    More than 9 because my basement's still dark.

    Woman: "Doctor, where are we going?"

    Doctor: "To the morgue."

    Woman: "I'm not dead yet, doctor."

    Doctor: "We're not at the morgue yet, either."

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