What's better than one dead baby?
Two dead babies.
What's the difference between apples and dead babies?
I don't ejaculate on apples before I eat them.
Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy? He died of a yeast infection.
What did the boy say to the noose?
"Can you please tie me."
When Stephen Hawking died, I assume his computer crash caused it.
What's terrible? Three dead babies nailed to one tree.
What's worse than that? One dead baby nailed to three trees.
The only reason Stephen Hawking died is because he broke his charger.
How did Steven Hawkings die?
His wife tripped over his charging plug when he was at 2% battery.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He tried to download a free version of Windows.
Yo mama so stupid, when her phone dies, she buries it.
What's the difference between a Lambo and 100 dead babies?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
Paul Walker's death was a tragedy, but at least he went out in a blaze of glory.
How many babies does it take to change a lightbulb?
More than 9 because my basement's still dark.
Woman: "Doctor, where are we going?"
Doctor: "To the morgue."
Woman: "I'm not dead yet, doctor."
Doctor: "We're not at the morgue yet, either."
What's the difference between Paul Walker and my computer?
When my computer crashes, I actually give a fuck.
What's harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree?
My dick while I'm doing it.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
Error.
I'm not going to bungee jump. I was born because of broken rubber and I'm not gonna die the same way.
So I was on Google, and on my computer it had Windows. When Stephen Hawking died, it shut down, the shutdown sound played, and wouldn't turn on again.
What is the skeleton's favorite car?
A Zam-bone-y.
