Bambi was calmly eating grass. All of a sudden, a red dot pointed near his heart caught his attention. He looked around anxiously, and he saw a man in camouflage. He whispered, "Time to join mother, Bambi!" Bambi knew what this meant. He ran. He heard a gunshot, followed by a wave of extreme pain. Bambi fell to the ground. He glanced at his leg, which was no longer attached to his body. The man in camouflage came up to him and stabbed him in the heart. Everything went black...
One day, in the Serengeti, a zebra started wondering if he was a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. So he goes around asking all the animals. He never gets his answer.
One fateful day, he dies and goes to Heaven. In Heaven, the zebra gets an idea. "I will go ask God!" So, he asks God, and God chuckles. "You are what you are!"
The zebra gets sad. He walks around and his dead zebra friend shows up. He asks, "What is wrong?" The zebra answers, "Well, I asked God if I was either a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. He just replied 'You are what you are!'"
His friend says, "Oh! You are a white horse with black stripes! Why? Because he would have said 'You is what you is!'"
When the emo kid hangs himself and the autistic kid thinks that it's a piñata... BATTER UP TO THE PLATE!
If Stephen Hawking was an Xbox... he just red ringed and rose up to GameStop.
When Jim was playing on his phone, my grandfather told him, "You use way too much technology!" Jim then said, "No, YOU use too much technology!" and then Jim disconnected his grandfather’s life support.
Congratulations to Avicii for passing his 3-day milestone of sobriety!
Why did he die so soon? Oh, I know, he forgot to plug in his charger!
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his carer lost his charger.
I love it when cancer hits like a ton of bricks. The best part is when it kills people.
What’s red, blonde, and wet?
Saskia in grain.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He tried to get the free cracked version of Windows 10.
Stephen Hawking drove too far away from the wall and unplugged himself.
Why did Aaron slit his wrists?
Because it's him.
More like so they can fuck him, am I right?
Why does Aaron always look depressed? Because his grandma's dead.
Why do emos like circles? Because they can hang out with them.
What's the difference between a dead baby in a dumpster and a treasure chest? It's a surprise when you find the treasure.
To be brutally honest, I think his wife let him die for money, because they could just plug him back in. Surely they have an Android cable about?
What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.
How do you make a dead baby float?
Two scoops of ice cream, one scoop of dead baby!
