Death jokes
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
Error.
I'm not going to bungee jump. I was born because of broken rubber and I'm not gonna die the same way.
So I was on Google, and on my computer it had Windows. When Stephen Hawking died, it shut down, the shutdown sound played, and wouldn't turn on again.
What is the skeleton's favorite car?
A Zam-bone-y.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the wall and got unplugged.
I had a friend who was a deep sleeper. One day, a fire started in his house. Now he's a really deep sleeper.
What is a box called when a cough dies in it?
A coffin.
What’s the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? Both of their greatest hits are "the wall."
Whats the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead hookers, i don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
Why did Bob Ross die?
Because the paint brush stabbed him.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his son wanted to charge their phone, so they unplugged him.
My grandma always loved to craft clothing. She dyed last week.
My dog was hungry, so I let him loose outside while I filled his bowl.
I found out later that he was run over by a truck. It seemed to really hit the Spot.
What's the difference between an apple and a dead baby?
I don't jizz on an apple before eating it.
Man: Did you know pidgins die after having sex?
Woman: No, really?
Man: Well, the one I fucked did...
What's the difference between a potted plant and your wife? The first is easier to bury.
When you have a box of dead babies in your garage and one of them is alive at the bottom and has to eat its way out but goes back for seconds.
What's the best thing about dead baby jokes? They never grow old.
Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall, his mom did a terri-fried call.
He got hurt in a egg-cident, and it never got eggs-elent.
When the eggs-plant was over, he got told to use the mower.
It happened too fast, he watched the very last.
Next he died, eaten all fried.