Death jokes
Why did Bob Ross die?
Because the paint brush stabbed him.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his son wanted to charge their phone, so they unplugged him.
My grandma always loved to craft clothing. She dyed last week.
My dog was hungry, so I let him loose outside while I filled his bowl.
I found out later that he was run over by a truck. It seemed to really hit the Spot.
What's the difference between an apple and a dead baby?
I don't jizz on an apple before eating it.
Man: Did you know pidgins die after having sex?
Woman: No, really?
Man: Well, the one I fucked did...
What's the difference between a potted plant and your wife?
The first is easier to bury.
When you have a box of dead babies in your garage and one of them is alive at the bottom and has to eat its way out but goes back for seconds.
What's the best thing about dead baby jokes?
They never grow old.
Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall, his mom did a terri-fried call.
He got hurt in a egg-cident, and it never got eggs-elent.
When the eggs-plant was over, he got told to use the mower.
It happened too fast, he watched the very last.
Next he died, eaten all fried.
Did you hear he died of a virus? A computer virus.
What were Steven Hawking's last words?
Error 404 File Not Found.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby? The baby is still alive.
I really hate waiting to die... It's taking a lifetime.
I'm glad Stephen Hawking died because he was wheely wheely bad.
DDLC be like: "You kinda left her (Sayori) hanging."
And Yuri TOOK A SEAT...
On the floor.
And died.
The end.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
They unplugged the wifi.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He didn't pay his electricity bills.
What's black and white and red all over?
A massacre at a funeral.
How do you spell racecar backwards?
racecar
How do you spell racecar sideways?
Paul Walker's death.