Death

Death jokes

What is the difference between a kid with cancer and dark humor?

Dark humor never dies!

Stephen Hawking didn't die, he got sucked up by the black hole then got sent to the large charger in the sky.

I had a boyfriend once. He broke up with me because he "wanted to be more alive." I guess it didn't work when he went to my basement.

A child with cancer says, "Mother, what will I be when I grow up?"

Then the mother says, "Shut up, dick, you have cancer!" Hehehe.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance party? Because he had NOBODY to dance with.

What does an apple and a lawyer have in common?

They both look good hanging from a tree.

One night, a girl said to her family, "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa." The next morning, her grandpa died. That night, she said, "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodbye Grandma." The next morning, the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night, the girl said, "Goodnight Mommy, Goodbye Daddy." The next morning, the dad woke up and he was perfectly fine, but when he went into the kitchen, he saw his wife crying. When he asked her what's wrong, she said, "The mailman died."

What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich?

I don't put my dick in a sandwich before I eat it.

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  • Where do you think all the orphans went?

    In the World Trade Center, I trapped them in so they can finally get to their parents.

    Two tourists climb a mountain that utters certain doom.

    One tourist falls down. The tourist that's still on the mountain says, "You ok down there?"

    The other tourist says, "Can't I just rest in peace?!"

    Q: How many dead babies does it take to paint the wall?

    A: Depends how hard you throw them.