Death jokes
When you throw paper at a hill, you can say, "Hey, look, it is like Kobe's helicopter!"
From your Dad.
I won’t be back for a while, it’s a very long line.
What kind of coffee do they serve at funerals?
Burial grounds.
Why do my kids die?
Stinky Oussy :D
My depressed mom looks good hanging from a tree.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't know why I am still alive for you.
You wanna know what I have in common with an apple?
We BOTH look good hanging in a tree.
What was going through the student's heads during a school shooting?
Bullets.
Why is your nan gay? Because she's an orphan.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
A rich girl is flying on his helicopter when suddenly it crashes, killing everyone. What was the last thing that went through her head?
The helicopter blade!
Orphan: I want to kill my parents.
Random kid: I don’t think you have the facilities to do that, big man.
Orphan's prayer: In the name of the Father, The Son, The Holy Spirit. Amen.
When you say to your friend, "I've got your back," then at his funeral you see in his coffin he's missing his middle piece.
What did the skeleton say to the other skeleton? "I've got a bone to pick with you!"
That was a real rib tickler. I've got a skele-TON more of the skele-PUNS!
Why was there a box in a church? Because there was a funeral.
How did the chicken get to the other side? He crossed the road and didn't make it.
Orphan: "I want to kill my parents."
People: "I don't think you have the facilities for that, big man."
Are you a toaster? 'Cause I wanna take a bath with you.
Are you a knife? 'Cause you make me wanna KMS.
Are you a painting? 'Cause I hang you.
Are you the flu? 'Cause you make me wanna hurl.
Are you a newspaper? 'Cause you have new problems every day.
Are you the ground? 'Cause I'm six feet deep in you ;)
How do we know Stephen is dying in hell?
There’s a stairway to heaven.