For this orphan, his dad didn't only go and get the milk. His mom did too.
Anonymous 1: Why are you crying?
Anonymous 2: No, buddy, come to my finral.
I didn't steal it. 🌚
Yo momma is so ugly, she gets rejected by dead people.
So, a husband and a wife have three kids. The husband is on his death bed, and he looks up at his wife and says, "Honey, is our youngest son truly and honestly mine?" She says in response, "I swear on everything that is good and holy, our youngest son is yours." He dies peacefully.
Then she says under her breath, "I'm glad he didn't ask about the first two."
People said that Kobe could fly so high, but that did not end well.
My fondest childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather. That is, until my mom took the urn away from me.
A skeleton decided to become an assassin.
He was always skull-king around!
Scratches on an icy road and kills 50 people on the bus, and when they get to Heaven, God feels so bad for them and grants them all one wish.
The first lady in the line was always worried about her looks, so she wished to be beautiful, and the guy behind her couldn’t think of what to wish about, so he also wished to be beautiful. This kept on going, but the guy at the end of the line started to laugh. When he got to God, God says, “What is your one wish, my son?” He said, “I wish you can make them all ugly again.”
An emo texted a tree, "Wanna hang out?"
The tree ghosted her.
Yo mama is so fat that a whole forest grew on her, but it was sad because she really smells, so the forest died.
My dad said not to touch this thingy called a gun, but I looked down that pole and pressed that thing, and now I'm in heaven.
What's the difference between life and death? Life hurts.
Imagine you're playing GTA and you finally found out how to take out a gun: Option 1: shoot someone Option 2: suicide
Me: Aren't they the same thing?
What do you call someone smart and dead?
Stephen Hawking...
What do ya call an emo that's hung himself? Hangman.
"Knock, knock."
"Orphan: Who's there?"
"Not your parents."
People joking about 9/11.
Random kid: "You shouldn’t joke about that! I lost my dad on 9/11."
Oh.
"Yeah, he was the greatest pilot ever!"
I tried to start a music career, but it crashed harder than Paul Walker.
Let's stop this, it's not funny. Oh wait, the orphans are all gone with nobody. 😂
Your mom so ugly that Paul Walker died.
