Dead jokes
Joe Rogan to Christopher Doemges: "What can you tell me about musicians of the 18th century?" Doemges: "They're all dead already!"
I just found out, these jokes are about dead people.
Do you know when an African doesn't feel hungry?
When he is dead.
Why could you not hear the dinosaur clap? Because it's dead.
Why does cancer kill you? Because it does. 🌝
I remember my grandfather's last words:
"Are you holding the ladder?"
What's worse than 1 tree with 10,000 dead babies on it?
1 baby on 10,000 trees.
Kid: I want to be like Batman.
Genie: I can make arrangements. The kid comes home, both of his parents are dead.
Genie: I told you.
Kid: .............................................
I got a heart pain then I went to [the] hospital. When the doctor says I am dead, but I run then I jump. I am not dead!
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing, and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence; then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?"
One night, a father heard his daughter saying good night.
"Good night, Mom."
"Good night, Dad."
"Good night, Mamah."
"Good bye, Papa."
The next day her papa died.
He heard her saying them a month later.
"Good night, Mom."
"Good night, Dad."
"Good bye, Mamah."
The next day her mamah died.
Well, her dad was scared for his life. He knew he was next. Well, his daughter said them again.
"Good night, Mom."
"Good bye, Dad."
The next day, the mail man dropped dead on their porch.
Why did the clown stop smiling?
Someone chopped his lips off.
What's the difference between a rock and a dead baby?
You can't fuck a rock.
How many dead babies does it take to paint my room?
It depends how many bullets you have.
How long does it take for 10 dead babies to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.
Why couldn't the dinosaur clap? They're dead!
What's worse than waking up with a dead baby next to you?
Realizing you were so drunk that you made love to it the night before...
My mum found a chest that was wet, and it had a child in it. She asked me what it was for. I said I put kids in it and chuck it in a river until they are dead.
I'm Gay.
Q: What did one snake say to the other?
A: Nothing because they are both dead.