Dead jokes
How can one make Death Row a little more fun?
Musical electric chairs.
My grief counselor died the other day.
He was so good at his job, I don't even care.
Twin Towers, more like dead towers.
What kind of streets do ghosts haunt?
Dead ends.
A man driving along a country road sees a little girl crying next to a cliff. He gets out and says, "Aw, what's the matter little girl?"
She points off the cliff, and at the bottom is the family car, burning with everyone inside, all mangled and dead.
The man unbuckles his pants and says, "Little girl, today just ain't your day."
Q: Why did the Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the second Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was hit by the first Koala.
Q: Why did the third Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it thought it was a game and joined in.
Just to an orphan.
Orphan: You're stupid.
You: You're so ugly, it's the reason your parents are dead.
Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500m of a school zone?
Because he's dead.
Why though?
I heard China aborts 25% of female babies. That's a lot of dead 3-year-old gender-affirmed girls.
For sale: Dead canary.
Not going cheep.
What's worse than one dead baby in a trash can?
One dead baby in ten trash cans.
Imagine me being 12 feet taller than your dad.
What is an orange cucumber?
A carrot, duh!
What's worse than ten dead babies nailed to one tree?
One dead baby nailed to ten trees.
You see a cat, it's dead, you are dead.
Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.
What do you get when Cayden steals your sandwich? A knuckle sandwich.
1) Did you hear the one about the school shooting? Actually, I better not... You wouldn't understand, it's aimed more towards a younger audience.
2) 6 was scared cuz 7 8 9, so why was 10 scared? Because it was in between 9/11.
3) 10 dead babies.
Why can’t dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.