Dead jokes
What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.
Roses are red, I wish you were dead.
What do you call a dolphin in the woods? Dead.
Why can’t Helen Keller have kids?
Answer: She’s dead.
What do you call a downy under water?
Dead fish
Memes
What’s the difference between dead babies and a cat?
The cat is still alive.
What’s the difference between cat food and tonight’s dinner?
Nothing, it’s all just mystery meat.
What is Beethoven doing right now?
Nothing, because he is dead.
One day, in the Serengeti, a zebra started wondering if he was a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. So he goes around asking all the animals. He never gets his answer.
One fateful day, he dies and goes to Heaven. In Heaven, the zebra gets an idea. "I will go ask God!" So, he asks God, and God chuckles. "You are what you are!"
The zebra gets sad. He walks around and his dead zebra friend shows up. He asks, "What is wrong?" The zebra answers, "Well, I asked God if I was either a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. He just replied 'You are what you are!'"
His friend says, "Oh! You are a white horse with black stripes! Why? Because he would have said 'You is what you is!'"
One day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy, then they heard a sound from the bushes. Instead of looking down, they both ran.
Two years later, they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial. They asked him if he has ever been caught. He said, "No, but a couple was walking as soon as I killed a girl. I jumped into a bush. They didn't know I was there, but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down, then he and his girlfriend ran."
What do you call it when an orphan goes to Panera Bread?
"Panera, my parents are dead."
Why could dinosaurs not talk? Because they were dead.
The last thing I said to my dog was,
"Play dead."
Why was the emo person dead inside?
Because I stole their insides.
Corpses aren’t funny—they’re dead serious.
What’s the difference between a Mercedes and a Skoda?
Princess Di wouldn’t be seen dead in the back of a Skoda...
5 4 3 2 1. I love the huge bright sun. 5 4 3 2 1. My life has just begun. Though Akeld and Unkown, make me feel alone, they want be dead, and off with my head, and all I said was... NO FRICKIN' HATIN' IN THESE COMMENTS! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop!
Knock knock.
Who's there? Discord server.
Discord server who?
This server is dead, bye bitches, I got better things to do than watch you sit here and type like a sloth.
What’s an Emo’s favorite exercise?
The dead hang.
What do you call an Asian who gets a B?
It's not a B-sian.
Dead.