Dead jokes
What’s the difference between a Mercedes and a Skoda?
Princess Di wouldn’t be seen dead in the back of a Skoda...
What do you call it when an orphan goes to Panera Bread?
"Panera, my parents are dead."
Why could dinosaurs not talk? Because they were dead.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite hobby?
Nothing because he's dead.
Corpses aren’t funny—they’re dead serious.
Memes
The last thing I said to my dog was,
"Play dead."
Why was the emo person dead inside?
Because I stole their insides.
5 4 3 2 1. I love the huge bright sun. 5 4 3 2 1. My life has just begun. Though Akeld and Unkown, make me feel alone, they want be dead, and off with my head, and all I said was... NO FRICKIN' HATIN' IN THESE COMMENTS! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop!
Knock knock.
Who's there? Discord server.
Discord server who?
This server is dead, bye bitches, I got better things to do than watch you sit here and type like a sloth.
Why is the Reaper not funny at all?
Well, he tells dead jokes!
Q: What's the difference between me and a priest? A: A priest isn't turned on by dead children.
Ironic that this page is dead.
Play dead, they said.
Wasn't too hard.
I've been dead inside for years.
I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!
What's the difference between soccer and a dead baby?
I don't wear steel cap boots when I play soccer.
Jokes are like your grandparents, old and dead.
He's got a massive f*cking cock, Ayew, Ayew. He tucks it in his football sock, Ayew, Ayew. Shagged a bird and now she's dead, Swung his cock around her head, Jordan Ayew Palace number nine.
A man driving along a country road sees a little girl crying next to a cliff. He gets out and says, "Aw, what's the matter little girl?"
She points off the cliff, and at the bottom is the family car, burning with everyone inside, all mangled and dead.
The man unbuckles his pants and says, "Little girl, today just ain't your day."
Person: So you know that person's name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dead.
Friend: Yeah, John Wilkes Booth.
Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln?
Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot!