Dead Jokes

whats the difference between soccer and a dead baby? . . . i dont wear steal cap boots when i play soccer

Ironic that this page is dead

What's the square root of your dead? 9/11

play dead they said wasn't to hard I've been dead inside for years

My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one. She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"

jokes are like your grandparents, old and dead.

I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride she says BOO! What kind of a dick fuck does that!

A woman is in the hospital giving birth. The doctor comes up to her afterwards.

Dr: "I'm sorry, I have good news and bad news."

Woman: "What's the bad news?"

Dr: "Your baby is Ginger."

Woman: "Ok, so what's the good news?"

Dr: "It's dead!!!"

A man driving along a country road sees a little girl crying next to a cliff. He gets out and says, "Aw, what's the matter little girl?" She points off the cliff and at the bottom is the family car, burning with everyone inside all mangled and dead. The man unbuckles his pants and says, "Little girl, today just ain't your day."

You don't want to know why it takes so long to put a dead woman in a mass produced coffin in a pre buried grave dug by machinery, that is then filled by mourners.

What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? I don't keep a trash bag full of oranges in my basement.

What yellow and can’t swim Your dead fish

Dead baby jokes never get old...

i once asked a sketchy man at a bar for some relationship advice. He simply replied, "theyre all dead hookers ince theyre in the trunk."

How many dead baby's does it take to change a light bulb?

Well It's not 8 because my basement is still dark

What’s bad about swinging a dead baby above your head? Stopping it with the shovel

A good bath is like a dead lover.

You can enjoy them, that is until they get too cold.

what's the difference between a pile of dead bodies and a computer?

i don't know I have both