Dead Jokes

you know Sally? she's dead now

What's the hardest thing walking through a field of dead children?

My penis.

a Woman delivers a baby. The doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. The mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging “WHYYYY!!??”. The doctor holds the baby upside down by the ankle and says “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.

Ugh don’t you just hate it when your having sex and your parents walk in he room and say “ No more dead babies for your mister we are running low!”

hes dead now

I just wanted to write something random

And now my wife is dead

what did Michael Jackson say?

nothing, he’s dead

What is red bubbling and scratching at a window, A baby in the microwave.

The other day I commented a dark humor joke on a post about a guy who lost his best friend. The joke was “I was so drunk last night I threw a mushroom at a midget and said ‘grow mario grow’ He commented “What the hell is wrong with you”and I said “IKR I really gotta work on my alcoholic issues.” He then replied “This is a post about my dead best friend get the fuck off my feed I don’t even know you.” And so I said “Well then get to know me, I could become your new best friend!”

Lol

How do you know the baby's dead, The dog plays with it more

THE ORPHANS ALL DIED!!! oh wait, no one cares.. THEIR PARENTS ARE ALL DEAD ANYWAY, we are just making them happier, they get to join their parents in hell

He’s not dead just his storage unit

Two men were were on a hike through a forest when on of the hikers got bit on his ass by a snake the other hiker ran to the village 2 miles away and explained to a doctor there what had happened the doctor told him to cut a cross with a knife where he had been bitten and suck out the venom so he ran back to the first hiker who asked him, ''have u got the cure'' hiker number two just said nah mate your dead