Buy KFC = 1 dead orphan in your house.
Dead Jokes
So.. err actually, don’t worry. I was gonna make a joke about dead babies, but I had to abort.
Patient: Where are you taking me, doctor?
Doctor: The morgue.
Patient: Hang on! I'm not dead yet!
Doctor: And we're not there yet!
What do Christmas decorations and dead people have in common?
They both hang from a tree!
Depression: Here, your mom just died.
Me: My mom is already dead.
Do you know Stephen is dead? He doesn't have a stone. Do you know how to find him? A metal detector.
What's a dead person's favorite sentence?
"I made it."
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Your dead son.
What's worse than finding one dead baby in a bin? Finding one dead baby in five bins.
What is blue and wiggling on my floor?
A baby in a bag.
My god, my egg jokes are eggcellent!
What's worse than one dead baby in a trash can?
One dead baby in ten trash cans.
Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up?
Kid 1: I want to be a firefighter.
Kid 2: I want to be a police officer.
Kid 3: I want to be dead like both my parents.
Teacher: Ok, everyone pull out your books.
Kid 4: Are we going to ignore what he said?
Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?
I got caught fucking a dead body by my family. RIP grandma.
These jokes are darker than the list of victims dead from cops.
Dead.
So a kid asks his dad, "Why was I born?"
The dad replies, "I thought that girl was dead!"
Man, I’m so sorry that Stephen Hawking is dead; he was such a good person.
Too bad it’s a staircase to Heaven and not a ramp.
The invention of the shovel was groundbreaking.
Child: Goodnight Mommy. Goodnight Daddy. Goodnight Grandma. Goodbye Grandpa!
Dad: Wait, why are you saying that?
Child: I just felt like it.
The next day, the Grandpa is dead.
Dad: That's just a VERY scary coincidence.
Child: Goodnight Mommy. Goodnight Daddy. Goodbye Grandma.
Dad: Wait, why are you saying that?
Child: I just felt like it.
The next day, the Grandma is dead.
Dad: That's just a VERY scary coincidence.
Child: Goodnight Mommy, Goodbye Daddy!
Dad: Oh no. If I survive until tomorrow, everything will be okay!
Survives until tomorrow.
Dad: Whew! That was nice! *Goes to house*
Mom: Honey! I was so worried about you! The mailman just dropped dead on our porch!
(If you don't get it, the mailman is the biological father)
