Dead jokes
What is the best way to catch a baby from falling off the roof?
With a pitchfork.
Have you heard about the blind man who saw the accident and the dead man who heard it?
What’s the best part about fucking a dead bitch?
You don’t need consent.
How do you know the baby's dead? The dog plays with it more.
Very sad today. Found my pet mouse "Elvis" dead this morning. He was caught in a trap.
Memes
Real 😔
How do you know if your wife is dead?
Sex is the same, but the dishes keep piling up.
911 what's your emergency?
Me: Officer, my girlfriend is dead!
Operator: What happened!?
Me: She bit the tip.
Q. Which game does necro like the most?
Into the dead part 1.
Could never understand why people would say Stephen Hawking is a dead man walking.
Do you know Stephen is dead? He doesn't have a stone. Do you know how to find him? A metal detector.
Patient: Where are you taking me, doctor?
Doctor: The morgue.
Patient: Hang on! I'm not dead yet!
Doctor: And we're not there yet!
Depression: Here, your mom just died.
Me: My mom is already dead.
What do Christmas decorations and dead people have in common?
They both hang from a tree!
So.. err actually, don’t worry. I was gonna make a joke about dead babies, but I had to abort.
What's a dead person's favorite sentence?
"I made it."
What's worse than finding one dead baby in a bin? Finding one dead baby in five bins.
What is blue and wiggling on my floor?
A baby in a bag.
What's worse than one dead baby in a trash can?
One dead baby in ten trash cans.
My god, my egg jokes are eggcellent!
Buy KFC = 1 dead orphan in your house.