Dead jokes
What’s the best part about fucking a dead bitch?
You don’t need consent.
How do you know the baby's dead? The dog plays with it more.
What is the best way to catch a baby from falling off the roof?
With a pitchfork.
Very sad today. Found my pet mouse "Elvis" dead this morning. He was caught in a trap.
How do you know if your wife is dead?
Sex is the same, but the dishes keep piling up.
Buy KFC = 1 dead orphan in your house.
So.. err actually, don’t worry. I was gonna make a joke about dead babies, but I had to abort.
Patient: Where are you taking me, doctor?
Doctor: The morgue.
Patient: Hang on! I'm not dead yet!
Doctor: And we're not there yet!
What do Christmas decorations and dead people have in common?
They both hang from a tree!
Depression: Here, your mom just died.
Me: My mom is already dead.
Do you know Stephen is dead? He doesn't have a stone. Do you know how to find him? A metal detector.
What's a dead person's favorite sentence?
"I made it."
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Your dead son.
What's worse than finding one dead baby in a bin? Finding one dead baby in five bins.
What is blue and wiggling on my floor?
A baby in a bag.
My god, my egg jokes are eggcellent!
What's worse than one dead baby in a trash can?
One dead baby in ten trash cans.
Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up?
Kid 1: I want to be a firefighter.
Kid 2: I want to be a police officer.
Kid 3: I want to be dead like both my parents.
Teacher: Ok, everyone pull out your books.
Kid 4: Are we going to ignore what he said?
Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?
I got caught fucking a dead body by my family. RIP grandma.
These jokes are darker than the list of victims dead from cops.