Dead

Dead jokes

Consent

What’s the best part about fucking a dead bitch?

You don’t need consent.

Baby

How do you know the baby's dead? The dog plays with it more.

Baby

What is the best way to catch a baby from falling off the roof?

With a pitchfork.

Mouse

Very sad today. Found my pet mouse "Elvis" dead this morning. He was caught in a trap.

  • 0
  • Wife

    How do you know if your wife is dead?

    Sex is the same, but the dishes keep piling up.

  • 1
  • Memes

    Baby

    So.. err actually, don’t worry. I was gonna make a joke about dead babies, but I had to abort.

    Morgue

    Patient: Where are you taking me, doctor?

    Doctor: The morgue.

    Patient: Hang on! I'm not dead yet!

    Doctor: And we're not there yet!

    Christmas

    What do Christmas decorations and dead people have in common?

    They both hang from a tree!

    Detector

    Do you know Stephen is dead? He doesn't have a stone. Do you know how to find him? A metal detector.

    Baby

    What's worse than finding one dead baby in a bin? Finding one dead baby in five bins.

    Baby

    What's worse than one dead baby in a trash can?

    One dead baby in ten trash cans.

    Orphan

    Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up?

    Kid 1: I want to be a firefighter.

    Kid 2: I want to be a police officer.

    Kid 3: I want to be dead like both my parents.

    Teacher: Ok, everyone pull out your books.

    Kid 4: Are we going to ignore what he said?

    Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?

    List

    These jokes are darker than the list of victims dead from cops.