Dead jokes
How is Stephen Hawking dead?
His Windows shit down.
A mom cow's last words were to the mom cow's son. They were, "You are..." then died. The son thought that he was adopted, but then three years later, the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say, "You were adorable." Then she died once more. Then two years later, she rose from the dead for the last time to say to her son, "And that's why we adopted you."
So, me and my friend dressed as dead people for Halloween. The only difference in the costume was that he was actually dead.
A man had 10 dead and bloody babies in the middle of his living room. The police suddenly knocked on his door. What is the hardest thing to hide?
- A boner.
Bro, my friend told me all his humor is dead and dry, and I was like, "Just like 9/11 victims."
Before Queen Elizabeth was dead she was cracked at fortnite !!!
Why is Technoblade allowed to make jokes about orphans?
'Cause he's dead like their parents!
What’s the best part about fucking a dead bitch?
You don’t need consent.
How do you know the baby's dead? The dog plays with it more.
What is the best way to catch a baby from falling off the roof?
With a pitchfork.
Have you heard about the blind man who saw the accident and the dead man who heard it?
Very sad today. Found my pet mouse "Elvis" dead this morning. He was caught in a trap.
How do you know if your wife is dead?
Sex is the same, but the dishes keep piling up.
So.. err actually, don’t worry. I was gonna make a joke about dead babies, but I had to abort.
Patient: Where are you taking me, doctor?
Doctor: The morgue.
Patient: Hang on! I'm not dead yet!
Doctor: And we're not there yet!
Do you know Stephen is dead? He doesn't have a stone. Do you know how to find him? A metal detector.
Depression: Here, your mom just died.
Me: My mom is already dead.
Could never understand why people would say Stephen Hawking is a dead man walking.
What do Christmas decorations and dead people have in common?
They both hang from a tree!
Q. Which game does necro like the most?
Into the dead part 1.
What's a dead person's favorite sentence?
"I made it."