Dead Jokes

do you know steven is dead he doesent have a stone do you know how to find him a metal detector

if being sexy were a crime you better lock me up. not because I'm sexy but because I have 5 dead children in my basement

So.. err actually know don’t worry. I was gonna make a joke about dead babies but I had to abort.

Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up? Kid 1: I want to be a fire fighter kid 2: I want to be a police officer kid 3: i want to be dead like both my parents Teacher: ok everyone pull out your books Kid 4: are we going to ignore what he said? Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?

So a kid asks his dad, " Why was I born?" The dad replies, " I thought that girl was dead!"

Man, I’m so sorry that Steven Hawking is dead he was such a good person. To bad it’s a stair case to Heaven and not a ramp

Dead

I got caught fucking a dead body by my family. RIP grandma

the invention of the shovel was groundbreaking.

These jokes are darker than the list of victims dead from cops.

Child- Goodnight Mommy. Goodnight Daddy. Goodnight Grandma. Goodbye Grandpa! Dad- Wait, why are you saying that? Child- I just felt like it The next day, the Grandpa is dead Dad- That's just a VERY scary coincidence. Child- Goodnight Mommy. Goodnight Daddy. Goodbye Grandma. Dad- Wait, why are you saying that? Child- I just felt like it. The next day, the Grandma is dead. Dad- That's just a VERY scary coincidence. Child- Goodnight Mommy, Goodbye Daddy! Dad- Oh no. If I survive until tommorow, everything will be okay! Survives until tmmrow Dad- Whew! That was nice! *Goes to house* Mom- Honey! I was so worried about you! The mailman just dropped dead on our porch! (If you don't get it, the mailman is the biological father)

What is black , white and red all over

A dead zebra 🦓

What is the best type of snake?

A dead one.

So I am an emo dude so I sit in the back of the class and I talk to no one.But one day this dude came up to me and tried to talk to me so I just ignored him.Then he got really pissed off and said “I’m gonna kill you”.I was like “Your gonna kill me just because I ignored you, is your ego that big, wow.”He left then the next day he brought his goons with him and said “now your dead” I ignored him again and he said “you will pay for this.”So the following day after school I was walking down the street back to my house then him and his goons tried to attack me, but then they died so I kept on walking.I had some rope traps set.This was the best day of my life.

This is why you never mess with emo’s.We have ropes everywhere.

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Porsche

I don't have a Porsche in garage

Site nearly as dead as my trim

RAPE 9/11 ABORTION ORPHAN MURDER DEAD KILL DRUGS what makes all these categories so familiar? either you've experienced them, or made them up in your backstory.