There once was 3 men on an airplane and one bit into an apple and said this is disgusting and threw it out the window the 2nd man bit into a banana and said this is rotten and he threw it out the window the 3rd man bit into a bomb and screamed " ALL MY TEETH FELL OUT" and he threw it out the window. Meanwhile, on the ground, a police officer was walking and he saw a kid crying and he went up to him and asked him why he was crying he replied an apple came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head! the police officer said that is weird and kept on walking. Then he saw another kid crying and the police officer asked why are you crying and he answered a banana came flying out of the sky and hit he on the head the officer said this has been a strange day. Then he says a kid laughing and he asked why he was laughing and he said while he was laughing my dad farted and the house blew up.
The other day a man with some cheese and milk attacked me .....how dairy
Louis day is Steven Hawkins identical twin
it must have been a sad day when you slitherd out of the abortion bucket
I went to the store the other day and scanned an emo's arm. It gave me a discount!
I used to think that Jewish people were a myth.
But one day I realized, they Israel
Today I went to the doctor for a test and he said I have 10 months to live. So later that day I stabbed him to death & the judge sentenced me for 15 years in prison. Problem solved
You know Hitler loves you when he comes up to you on Valentine's Day and he says "Will you be my Valenein?"
For dinner, this girl had noodles. The next day, she could not find her skinny sister. The mom said “Your sister is dead!” sadly. The girl asked “She was skinny, right?” The mom said yes. The sister laughed “I ate her! That’s why the noodles were very skinny!”
I found a chest of gold in my garden the other day. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it. Then I remembered why I was digging in my garden.
The teacher once said to some students ̈i was an orphan before your principle hired me. ̈ the students said ̈oof that is sad ̈ the teacher tried to ignore them and take attendance she said ̈is anyone missing ̈ the students said ̈your parents. ̈ the teacher got offended and later that day quit her job
A Story:
I lived in a small house. Behind my house was a big forest. If I went in the forest, then I heared scary sounds. That was very dreadful. I had a son. He was 9 years old. One day he went into the forest and did not come back. I called the police. But it couldn't help. I went looking. I really wanted my son Robby back. I missed him so! With a flashlight and compass I went into the dark, eerie forest. Then the noises came again. But this time I also heard a scream. A scream from a nine year old child. It was Robby. Certainly! I stopped in front of a tunnel.
Sequel follows...
A man finds his son climbing the roof of his house. The kid kept using all sort of material to climb up, but the dad didn't pay much attention. Next day the kid went to the state tower, and kept climbing using some adhesive gloves. The dads asks his son for a second time: " Son! why are you doing this?" the son replies: "You told me to aim up high".
One day, little Johnny was playing with his toys and looked out the window. He saw the neighbor's kid laying face-first in the grass. Not breathing. Little Johnny continued to shoot his nerf gun at the neighbor's big booty cheeks. No movement at all. After little johnny went to get a snack, he looked out the window again and the kid was gone. Little Johnny went to the neighbors and said, "I'm sorry to hear that your child has gone missing."
One day me and my girlfriend were just hanging out and she needed to tell our dad that we were going out.
I have a friend that sells backpacks for a living. You can draw on them using markers of different color variants.
He one day said his business was “remarkable.”
Why is Sunday better than Monday?
Because Monday is a weak day.
