Can all the hot, depressed, suicidal guys just text me so we can meet up and cry together about how depressed we are. For real.
Dating Jokes
Whenever your ex says, "You'll never find someone like me," the answer to that is, "That's the point."
I dated a furry once.
The relationship didn't work out, she was a cheetah.
Flat Earther pickup line: "The Earth may be flat, but Uranus is round."
Why do people love dating orphans?
Because they're always home alone.
Yo girl... do you like squirrels, because I'm about to nut in your hole.
I would kiss your lips, but your legs are blocking the way.
If you know, you know. 😏😏
Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.
Other girls want a guy who is 6ft, but does me being 6ft under count?
Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day."
Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"
Hey girl, are your pants a mirror? 'Cause I can see myself in them.
What’s the best part about fucking an emo chick?... she's limited edition.
Girl, are you a rope? Because I want to hang with you.
Why do men give cold women their jackets?
No man wants a blowjob from a woman with chattering teeth.
There was a girl I used to date, only to find out that she used to be a man. You could say, she put me in a trans.
Feel my shirt...it's boyfriend material.
Why couldn’t 3 ask 4 on a date?
Because he was 2 squared.
(Best pick-up line ever). Your body is like 9/11. I wanna crash into your twin towers. 😏
A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy.
The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!'"
Stephen Hawking went on a date and came back with a broken leg. I can't believe she stood him up.
