Dating jokes

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I go out with enyaw, now she is just gay.

Don't treat her like a gold pump when she's treating you like a gray pistol. Put down a launch pad and rotate.

Did you hear about the woman who broke up with the man who had a small penis?

When his friends ask how he’s doing, he said, “I wasn’t that into her.”

Blondes like their men how they like their rice: brown, 500 at a time, and all in her bowl.

My chance of finding love.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. If he's busy on Valentine's Day, the side chick is you.

Other girls want a guy who is 6ft, but does me being 6ft under count?

Let's play carpenter. First, we'll get hammered, then I'll nail you.

What is white, blue eyed, blonde haired and somehow was made in Galilee during the Roman occupation?

An Italian Renaissance painting that was carbon dated.

What do you call a person who tries to get you on a dating website... a Brodie.

Can some hot depressed suicidal guy give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die?

Hey, can you tell that a blonde likes you? She only gives you two nights in a row.

So I was at a restaurant and I really hit it off with the waitress, so one thing led to another and I'm at her place and she was really nice at the IHOP but when I was there with her she was all like "ahhh! what are you doing!?!?!? how did you get in my house?!?!?" and then she punched me and I'm the one who ended up in prison.

Are you a train because I want to get railed by you? ;)

I dated a furry once.

The relationship didn't work out, she was a cheetah.

Do you have a shovel? Because I'm digging that ass.

What do rocks and girls have in common?

The flat ones get skipped.

Imagine the only way you can get laid is if you force it. 😂 Loser!

I just went on a date with a woman in a wheelchair.

I stood her up, which made her fall for me. At first it was a drag, but now we’re rolling.