Dating Jokes

My gf/bf said: "Im dating your uncle" you cry and you look under your bed and your uncle says: "Dam."

"I work with animals," a guy says to his date. "That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?" "I'm a butcher," he replies.

your hairline goes back so far it dated zeus

When I see two lovers name on a tree I don’t find it cute or funny, I think why would they be bringing a. Knife on a date.

I caught my wife this morning gazing at our marriage license of long ago that hangs upon our wall with tears in her eye! Almost got teary eyed myself until she told me she was only looking for the expiration date!

Dating a girl and studying mathematics. Both gave a headache

who wanna be my boyfriend

How did the Emo ask the other Emo out?

"Wanna hang together?"

What did Bill Cosby say on the second date? Hi, nice to meet you

What’s the difference between a loser and a paper? A girl actually dates the paper.

Why did tube date electricity? Because he would light put when she touched him.

person 1- I heard oxygen and magnesium went on a date. person 2- OMg

Why can’t orphans date

Because they have no one to call daddy

If she’s old enough to smoke She’s old enough to choke If she’s old enough to pee She’s old enough for me

Guy: Hi, how was your day today. Woman: Good! Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant* Guy: How many months pregnant are you? Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also I’m not pregnant.

Stephen hawking went on a date last night She left after 15 minutes complaining she didn't like his tone

Im 43 and my date is 19. A man rudely comes up to our table and calls me a pedofile. I told him to fuck off this is our 10th anniversary

Dear Gwen and Prince. Gwen and Prince sorry for being mean and cussing and other messed up nonsense. To be honest I really just wanted to be ur friends all both of u! Btw prince, Gwen is not dating Aiden...I don't even know who aiden is! Sorry a milion times Zreina.