Dating jokes
Why couldn’t 3 ask 4 on a date?
Because he was 2 squared.
I always enjoy family reunions.
It's always a good time meeting up with my exes.
Girl: "...I like you... do you like me back?"
Me: "Nope."
Girl: *is depressed* "Oh okay...."
Me: "You never said \"love\"".
Girl: "Oh! well do you love me?"
Me: "Frick no."
Stephen Hawking went on a date and came back with a broken leg. I can't believe she stood him up.
My ex was an orphan as a child.
I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn't want her, why would I?
A flirting tip for the boys
what did the woman do after meeting up with a rapist?
sue the dating site for matching her with him.
A couple is on their first date.
Man: How do you feel about sex?
Woman: I like it infrequently.
Man: I see. Is that one word or two?
Can some hot depressed suicidal guy give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die?
Why’s it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl? You gotta drop the bomb twice.
A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either terrible news or great news.
I have no problem getting dates online. I’ve also had luck with almonds, cashews, and walnuts.
Are you a tree? Cuz I’m trying to hang with you. ;)
Guys, help! I need advice to confess to my crush. I'm being for real right now, guys, help!
Do people even like me, C. A. S. N. O. V. A.?
Why didn't Michael Jackson date 25 year olds?
Because there were only 20 of them.
I asked the gym trainer what type of machine I should use to get the best looking women.
He said the ATM outside.
Michael Jackson, who's terrified of adult women, once had a girlfriend, but broke it off with her. When she asked him why, he said, "It's not you, it's me-hee-hee."
What do rocks and girls have in common?
The flat ones get skipped.
So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.
When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"
He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."
Guy: Whose place? Mine or yours?
Girl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.