Date jokes
What’s something you can say at a Christian summer camp and during a blind date?
"Good Lord, this is fun!"
An HDMI cable and an electrical outlet went on a date. It didn't go well, because they couldn't connect.
Why does Joe only have 264 days in his calendar?
Because he can't celebrate Father's Day.
Why is six scared of seven? Because 7 8 9.
Then why was 10 scared? Because he was between 9/11.
Helen Keller once dated a brick wall.
Women be like men should pay for first dates, then get mad when you do...
Are you a building?
Cuz I rate you 9/11.
I dated a lot of girls before I married my wife. I was living with one of them when I arrived home one day to find her bags packed and next to the door. I asked her, "Baby, what's going on?" She said, "I'm leaving you."
"But why?" I replied.
"Because you're a pedophile!" she answered.
"That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old," I said.
You should never date a prospector. They're all just gold diggers.
I once dated a math teacher. It turned out she was nothing but problems.
A man asked another man if he was happy with his marriage. He replied, "Yes, I'm very happy. We go on date night every week." The other man asked, "When?" He goes on Wednesday and I go on Thursday.
Michael has canceled his upcoming dates. They were Tommy, age 9, and Bobby, 11.
Karien: Mom, I don't care if you're dating a new guy, I want you and Dad to be together!
Daiana: Sometimes things don't work out, like when it didn't work between your father and me. Time to move on, Karien.
Karien: Well I'm not moving on! I can't believe you love someone else!
Daiana: Karien, just give him a chance. His name is Derek, he loves cooking, cleaning, and anything that has you doing something.
Karien: That is so boring!
Daiana: Well just work with me please?
Karien: I'll give you a day... 24 hours, Mom!
I dated a German girl, it was very annoying when she kept on screaming her age and moaning.
What’s the benefit of dating a homeless woman?
You can drop her off anywhere.
When your girlfriend picks you up and decides to prank you by not wearing pants to a seafood restaurant.
Did you get seafood without me?
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9.
But then why was 10 scared? Because it was in between 9 and 11.
What is the worst thing about dating a blind woman?
Getting her husband's voice just right.
BlessedBrian must have been born on April Fools’ Day... because he’s a joke every day of the year.
So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What's the catch? Aye, there, matey, the catch of the day be crabs.