Date jokes

Women be like men should pay for first dates, then get mad when you do...

Why does Joe only have 264 days in his calendar?

Because he can't celebrate Father's Day.

Why is six scared of seven? Because 7 8 9.

Then why was 10 scared? Because he was between 9/11.

Helen Keller once dated a brick wall.

Are you a building?

Cuz I rate you 9/11.

What’s something you can say at a Christian summer camp and during a blind date?

"Good Lord, this is fun!"

An HDMI cable and an electrical outlet went on a date. It didn't go well, because they couldn't connect.

I dated a lot of girls before I married my wife. I was living with one of them when I arrived home one day to find her bags packed and next to the door. I asked her, "Baby, what's going on?" She said, "I'm leaving you."

"But why?" I replied.

"Because you're a pedophile!" she answered.

"That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old," I said.

You should never date a prospector. They're all just gold diggers.

I once dated a math teacher. It turned out she was nothing but problems.

Michael has canceled his upcoming dates. They were Tommy, age 9, and Bobby, 11.

A man asked another man if he was happy with his marriage. He replied, "Yes, I'm very happy. We go on date night every week." The other man asked, "When?" He goes on Wednesday and I go on Thursday.

Karien: Mom, I don't care if you're dating a new guy, I want you and Dad to be together!

Daiana: Sometimes things don't work out, like when it didn't work between your father and me. Time to move on, Karien.

Karien: Well I'm not moving on! I can't believe you love someone else!

Daiana: Karien, just give him a chance. His name is Derek, he loves cooking, cleaning, and anything that has you doing something.

Karien: That is so boring!

Daiana: Well just work with me please?

Karien: I'll give you a day... 24 hours, Mom!

I dated a German girl, it was very annoying when she kept on screaming her age and moaning.

Why is 10 afraid?

Because it was in the middle of 9/11.

Why is September 11th an awesome birthday to have?

Because no one forgets it! :)

If 7 8 9 why was ten scared?

It was right in the middle of 9/11.

Why were 7, 8, and 10 scared?

Answer: 9/11, of course!

I caught my wife this morning gazing at our marriage license of long ago that hangs upon our wall with tears in her eye!

Almost got teary eyed myself until she told me she was only looking for the expiration date!

If 6 was afraid of 7 because 7 ate 9, then why was 10 afraid?

Because 10 was in the middle of 9/11.