Date jokes
12/8?
Me: Breathe right now if you wanna date me.
Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...
The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.
Your girlfriend/boyfriend says: "I'm dating your uncle..." You start crying and you look under the bed and your uncle says: "Damn."
Ever heard of account stealing?
Ever heard of someone by the name of "#SHUT THE HELL UP GWEN DON'T EVEN DATE PRINCE ON FACE BOOK!!!!!!!! I HATE IT WHEN UR HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"?
Five more days.
If 7 8 9 why was ten scared?
It was right in the middle of 9/11.
Why were 7, 8, and 10 scared?
Answer: 9/11, of course!
Why is September 11th an awesome birthday to have?
Because no one forgets it! :)
Why did the skeleton not go to prom?
Because he had no body to go with.
Dating a girl and studying mathematics, both give a headache.
Why is 10 afraid?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
If 6 was afraid of 7 because 7 ate 9, then why was 10 afraid?
Because 10 was in the middle of 9/11.
I caught my wife this morning gazing at our marriage license of long ago that hangs upon our wall with tears in her eye!
Almost got teary eyed myself until she told me she was only looking for the expiration date!
Nope, should've gone to Specsavers.
Hey, this is to orphans:
"Orphans are ugly. We need to know each other :D We need to date, cause ur hot and so am I and orphans rly are ugly!!!!"
In 2006 on 6/9, there was something called communication opportunity happened. On 6/9. 69. Coincidence? I think NOT.
What is the shortest month of the year?
May, it only has 3 letters!
What dating app do people in Alabama use? Ancestry.com.
After every line, say “I’m a man.”
I went to the club. (I’m a man)
I met a girl. (I’m a man)
I took her to the bar. (I’m a man)
We got some drinks. (I’m a man)
I took her home. (I’m a man)
We got in bed. (I’m a man)
She whispered in my ear... (I’m a man)