Date Jokes

I dated a German girl, it was very annoying when she kept on screaming her age and moaning.

Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...... The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.

Ever heard of account stealing? Ever heard of someone by the name of "#SHUT THE HELL UP GWEN DON'T EVEN DATE PRINCE ON FACE BOOK!!!!!!!! I HATE IT WHEN UR HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?"

I caught my wife this morning gazing at our marriage license of long ago that hangs upon our wall with tears in her eye! Almost got teary eyed myself until she told me she was only looking for the expiration date!

Hey this is to Orphans are ugly, We need to know each other :D We need to date, cause ur hot and so am i and orphans rly are ugly!!!!

Dating a girl and studying mathematics. Both gave a headache

Why is sex with pandas so much fun? I don't know it just is. 🐼

Why are there no women in the NFL? Commissioner Roger Goodell firmly believes in equal opportunity. So the girl tries out. Then, if she makes the team we gangbang her to death. I mean, could you imagine what a scary birch shed have to be?

Why did I fuçlc my dad? So I could have s€x without my mom finding out. Should I not have done that?

The Cheerio Joke

Let's say you're in high school, and your popularity level was badlsed on what Cheerio you are. So there's Extra-Frosty cheerios as the most popular kids, the frosted cheerios were the popular kids, the Regular Cheerios as the typical normal kid, then there's the honey nut Cheerios as the nerds and geeks, and then there's your cheerio which is the Chocolate cheerios. Now you want to ask this girl who's an extra frosty, you go up to her and ask her to Homecoming, but she declines. So after school gets out, you go home and rewind. The next day you wake up feeling like a honey nut cheerio, so you go up to her again and ask her again, she still says no. So you go home and rewind again and wake up the next morning feeling like a Regular cheerio. So you go to school and ask her again, she still declines. So you go home and rewind again. The next morning, you wake up feeling like a frosty cheerio. So you go up to her and ask again, still says no. Then you go home and unwind. The next day you wake up feeling like an extra frosty cheerio. Feeling doubtful, you go up to her one last time and ask her. She finally says yes. The next day is Homecoming, and you and your date are on the dance floor, and she wants punch. So she tells you that she's going to go get punch. She goes and gets punch and is back in 30 seconds. You ask her why it was so fast. She replies with; "Oh there want a punch line."

Why don't emo girls date emo boys? Cause they've already got a pussy.

Two emos are dating and the most romantic thing they have ever done is slit each others wrists

Dear Gwen and Prince. Gwen and Prince sorry for being mean and cussing and other messed up nonsense. To be honest I really just wanted to be ur friends all both of u! Btw prince, Gwen is not dating Aiden...I don't even know who aiden is! Sorry a milion times Zreina.