Darkness jokes
Did you know about 9 months after a power outage 50% more babies are born because it is dark?
Why is dark spelt with a K and not a C?
Because they can’t see their parents.
Why did the emo kid like the all black Oreos?
'Cause they're dark.
A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet.
One day, the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet with her son.
Inside the closet, the little boy says, "It's dark in here, isn't it?"
"Yes it is," the man replies.
"You wanna buy a baseball?" the little boy asks.
"No thanks," the man replies.
"I think you do want to buy a baseball," the little extortionist continues.
"OK. How much?" the man replies, after considering the position he was in.
"Twenty-five dollars," the little boy replies.
"TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?!" the man repeats. "That's awful expensive," but because of the position he was in, agreed to the price.
The following week, the lover is visiting the woman again when she hears a car in the driveway, and again places her lover in the closet with her little boy.
"It's dark in here, isn't it?" the boy starts off.
"Yes it is," replies the man.
"Wanna buy a baseball glove?" the little boy asks.
"OK. How much?" the hiding lover responds, acknowledging his disadvantage.
"Fifty dollars," the boy replies, and the transaction is completed.
The next weekend, the little boy's father says, "Hey, son. Go get your ball and glove and we'll play some catch."
"I can't. I sold them," replies the little boy.
"How much did you get for them?" asks the father, expecting to hear the profit in terms of lizards and candy.
"Seventy-five dollars," the little boy says.
"SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?! That's thievery! I'm taking you to the church right now. You must confess your sin and ask for forgiveness," the father explains as he hauls the child away.
At the church, the little boy goes into the confessional, draws the curtain, sits down, and says "It's dark in here, isn't it?"
"Don't you start that crap in here," the priest says.
These jokes are darker than the list of victims dead from cops.
How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb in the middle of the night?
I don't know, I can never see them.
A young teen was walking home from school and having a nice day.
She gets home, eats, showers, and heads to her room. The young teen hears her mother say something. Not sure what she said, the girl replies with "ok."
The young teen was gonna head to bed, wondering when her mom was gonna come in and say goodnight. She lays in bed, but then she hears her mom's voice say, "Hunny, I'm home." She doesn't bother to say ok.
Later, when she decides to sleep, she gets a message from her mom saying to unlock the door, that she lost her keys. :)
D: Johnny, Johnny.
J: Yes, Papa?
D: Eating sugar?
J: No, Papa!
D: Telling lies?
J: No, Papa!
D: Open your mouth, now full of cock. :)
What does a beaten woman do when she comes home from the hospital?
Dishes if she knows what's good for her health.
You know what they say about dark humor: it hits harder than a drunk parent.
What's an EMO's favorite game?...... DARK SOULS
Why does dark humor love orphans? Because the humor killed their parents.
What's it called when a Black person makes a joke? A joke, you racist.
JK, dark humor.
Dark humor is like pussy: whining bitches don't get it.
What's an emo black kid called? A dark Drakie.
Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road?
To get to the dark side.
My fondest childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather. That is, until my mom took the urn away from me.
Hi! It's the kid with another dark joke! On this episode: Orphans!
Dark jokes are just like food.
Not everyone gets it.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.