Dark jokes
What do parents and dark humor have in common? Not everyone gets them.
Why were glow-in-the-dark condoms made?
To play Star Wars.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.
It never gets old.
At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.”
Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.”
Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.”
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”
Most controversial types of matter:
1. Dark matter 2. Anti-matter 3. Black Lives Matter.
Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road?
To get the milk and to get to the dark side.
How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? More than 40 because my basement is still dark.
A man is walking into the woods with a young boy.
Boy: “Hey mister, it’s getting dark out and I’m scared.”
Man: “How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.”
What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common?
Both are sick and twisted.
How many orphans does it take to change a light bulb?
Obviously more than three because my basement is still dark.
How many Emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they sit in the dark crying.
None, they sit in the dark cutting their wrists.
Did you know that a majority of the U.S. is afraid of the dark?
Especially if they are right behind you at the ATM.
How many emos does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they just sit and cry in the dark.
How many babies does it take to change a lightbulb?
More than 9 because my basement's still dark.
Why did the emo kid like the all black Oreos?
'Cause they're dark.
Kid: Mom, what’s dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Kid: But, Mom, I’m blind!
Mom: Exactly.
What's an EMO's favorite game?...... DARK SOULS
What do you call a group of black men hanging from a tree?
Alabama wind chimes.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your grandma died, your dad left you too, Now you're living with your old grandma coot. Oh, let's not forget your mom left you, too. You gon' live alone, die alone, with no roses on your casket, too.
My jokes are so dark that I am surprised that the cops didn't shoot them yet.