Dark jokes

What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be saying, "ten babies in one trashcan." Morbid humor would be saying, "one baby in ten trashcans."

So, a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.

Boy: "Hey mister, it's getting dark out and I'm scared!"

Man: "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"

I hate when I lose my white friends in the snow and my black friends in the dark. Where do I lose my friends from Afghanistan?

In an explosion.

I hate people who get offended here, like seriously, it's called dark humor for a reason.

1. What's the difference between Dark humor and Morbid humor? Dark humor is 10 babies in 1 trash can and Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.

2. What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

One day Timmy walks in on his mum in the bath. Then he asks, “What’s that dark fuzzy thing, mummy?” and mum said, “It’s a bush, every girl has one!” Then the next day he walks in on his dad in the shower. So he asks, “Daddy, what’s that long thing?” The dad then says, “It’s a sexy boy” accidentally. Timmy asks his dad, “What does sexy mean?” And the dad says, “Your mother, of course,” making it seem like a child-friendly compliment. Then the next day at school Timmy wanted to compliment his teacher. He walks up to her and says, “You’re so so sexy!”

A man takes a boy into the woods.

Boy says:

"Mister, I’m scared, and it’s dark and cold."

The Man: "How do you think I feel? I’m walking out here alone!"

Dark humor is like a dad - not everyone gets it.

I don't call it suicide. I call it population control.

Dark humor is a lot like food.

Not everyone gets it.

20 years of sex in the dark, the wife finds out he was using a dildo. The wife gets angry and says, "Explain the dildo, prick." The husband says, "Explain the children, bitch."

So, my parents were telling me about this dark joke they made 17 years ago, but they didn't actually tell me the joke.

Dark jokes are like water; some people just don't get it.

Do you have dark humor?

Actually, never mind. I was going to tell you a joke about babies dying... but I decided to abort.

Kid: "Hey dad, what's dark humor?"

Dad: "Go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him."

Kid: "But dad, I don't have any legs or arms."

Dad: "Exactly, son."

What's an emo's favorite Pink Floyd album?

The Final Cut.

Dark humor jokes about orphans are funny because no parents are gonna be told.

Why did they invent glow-in-the-dark condoms? So gay guys can play Star Wars.

How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?

Must be more than 13, because my basement is still dark.

Friend: How dark is your humor?

Me: It picks cotton.