Dark jokes

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Kid

  • How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    None, they sit in the dark and cry xdddd.

    Man

  • A man and a child walk into a forest.

    The kid says, "Um, sir, it's getting dark, and I'm getting kinda scared."

    The man says, "Yeah, well, think how I feel. I have to walk back out alone."

    Manhole

  • Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street when all of a sudden, Paddy falls down a manhole. Murphy shouts down, "Paddy, is it dark down there?"

    Paddy shouts up, "Dunno Murphy, I crnt see a fecking thing!"

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    Dark side

  • Is it just me, or everybody has a dark side, like a psycho side, and then you act like crazy for some reason?

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    Dog

  • A man was about to go into the bar with his dog when he realized the sign said, “No pets allowed!” He was about to walk away when another guy walked up with his dog. The 2nd man put on dark shades and said, “Just pretend you're blind!” He walked in with his dog, got a drink, then left.

    The 1st man did the same thing, but when he walked in, the bartender said, “You know your ‘guide dog’ is a chihuahua, right?”

    The man said, “They gave me a damn Chihuahua?!”

    Baby

  • How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?

    Must be more than 9, my basement is still dark!

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    Wood

  • An old man and a child are walking into the woods. Suddenly, they stop.

    "Mister," the child says, "I'm scared, these woods are dark and creepy..."

    The old man says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"

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    Uncle

  • You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!

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    Orphan

  • My favorite dark joke is orphan jokes. For no apparent reason.

    (If you see this joke with a blue "S" that's also me. I just have an acc now.)

    Blonde

  • Two blondes fell down a hole.

    One said, "It's dark in here, isn't it?"

    The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see."