Dark jokes

Sense

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A dark sense of humor is like a pair of functioning legs. Not everybody has one.

Day

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One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.

Dog

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A man was about to go into the bar with his dog when he realized the sign said, “No pets allowed!” He was about to walk away when another guy walked up with his dog. The 2nd man put on dark shades and said, “Just pretend you're blind!” He walked in with his dog, got a drink, then left.

The 1st man did the same thing, but when he walked in, the bartender said, “You know your ‘guide dog’ is a chihuahua, right?”

The man said, “They gave me a damn Chihuahua?!”

Baby

How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?

Must be more than 9, my basement is still dark!

Uncle

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You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!

Emo

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How many emos does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they just sit there and cry in the dark.

Orphan

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My favorite dark joke is orphan jokes. For no apparent reason.

(If you see this joke with a blue "S" that's also me. I just have an acc now.)

Blonde

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Two blondes fell down a hole.

One said, "It's dark in here, isn't it?"

The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see."

Wood

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An old man and a child are walking into the woods. Suddenly, they stop.

"Mister," the child says, "I'm scared, these woods are dark and creepy..."

The old man says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"

Cop

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My jokes are so dark that I am surprised that the cops didn't shoot them yet.

Night

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Spend all night in a dark humor webpage.

Go to an orphanage today and read it to them.

And I'm sure if you go to a school for disabled children, they should understand it.