Dark jokes
Dark humor is like sex: not everybody gets it.
How many Indians does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and wait for the British to come and do it.
What do you call an anorexic girl with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese.
What do you call ten lesbians in a room together? Fingerhut.
What do you call two lesbians in a closet together? A liquor cabinet.
What do you call a room full of 50 lesbians and fifty congressmen? 100 people who don't do dick.
Why don't women wear miniskirts in the winter? 'Cause they would get chapped lips.
What do a cliff jumper and a gay man have in common? If the rubber breaks, they're in deep shit.
Kid: "Grandma, what's dark humour?"
Grandma: "See that man in the wheelchair over there?"
Kid: "But Grandma! I'm blind!"
Grandma: "Exactly."
What do you and Quasimodo have in common?
You're both hideously ugly and hide in the dark.
Your taste in men is like my taste in humor: dark.
Dark humour is like skin.
The darker it is, the less people like it.
Why do white people get abducted by aliens?
Because they're easier to see in the dark.
You're so dark that even God's light can't shine upon you.
How many poets does it take to change a light bulb?
One to curse the darkness, one to light a candle.
You're more depressing than your own abortion video.
R.I.P. on a tombstone normally means "Rest In Peace"; however, in Madeleine McCann's case, it means "Raped In Portugal".
What do you call a seven who's not feeling well? A sick seven
Where did Sally go after stepping onto the minefield? Everywhere
Getting a girlfriend is just like parking a car; usually all the good ones are taken, so you just gotta stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.
How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
More than 10, since my basement's still dark.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9.
But then why was 10 scared? Because it was in between 9 and 11.
What do Israel and Epstein have in common?
"Look at that, time to blow up some kids."
What did the dark man say when he found out he had an erectile dysfunction?
"I can't breed! I can't breed! I can't breed!"
R.I.P. Floyd.
Q: What do nuns and bathrooms have in common?
A: They both have glory holes for pleasing.
How do you find a black person in the dark without a flashlight?
Tell them a joke to make them smile.
"The legend says Tinker Bell was good in jerkin' off Peter with her tiny fingers, but it pains me to think that Captain Hook was a closeted-sadist boyfriend."