Dark jokes
What is it called when you hit your funny bone at night?
Dark humor.
Dark humor never gets old, like kids from Africa.
Rape can happen to anybody, so I think I will continue taking the short cut home through the dark alleyways, wearing barely anything and walk really close to bushes.
All of these jokes are so dark, I'm surprised cops haven't shot them.
Friend: How dark is your humor?
Me: It gets beat by the cops on a daily basis.
Took me about 15 seconds of staring in confusion to figure out how the illusion worked
Dark humor is like a cancer, it's funnier when a kid gets it.
Dark humor is like parents. Not everyone gets it.
Why is dark spelt with a K and not a C?
Because they can’t see their parents.
Son: Mom, what is dark humor?
Mom: Son, do you see that man trying to tie his shoe with no hands?
Son: Mother, you know I'm blind and can't see!!
Mom: Exactly!
Why is an orphan so scared of the dark?
They don't have a dad to check the closet.
How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Must be more than 9 cause my basement is still dark.
So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.
The boy turns to the man and says, "Hey mister, it's getting dark out, and I’m scared... Can we go back now?"
So the man says: "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone!"
*Hears the news about Sandy Hook* Person 1: "God, I can only imagine what was going through those kids' heads in the last moments of their lives..."
Person 2: "Probably Bullets."
Person 1: "OMG!! Can you even think of what their parents are going through?!"
Person 2: "Probably Coffin Brochures."
Person 1: "...."
Person 2: "It's called dark humor. Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it."
The difference between dark jokes and morbid is,
dark jokes are 10 babies in 1 trash can, and
morbid jokes are 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate.
Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor jokes?
It can't hit home.
I said to Google, "How do I kill someone?" Then I got https://www.wired.com/story/dark-web-bitcoin-murder-cottage-grove in the front. Before you click it, it says, "If you want to kill someone, we are the right guys." How the f*** did this get in Google?
How many Microsoft programmers does it take to change a light bulb? - None, they declare darkness to be the new standard.
Kid: "Dark humor is like a mother's love."
Orphan: "How?"
Kid: "You wouldn't know."
Orphan: "........."
Children in the dark make mistakes.
Mistakes in the dark make children.