Dark jokes

If you are going to make fun of someone, make fun of orphans. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

Double whammy.

Dark humor is like a kid with cancer, it never gets old.

Friend: How dark is your humor?

Me: It gets beat by the cops on a daily basis.

What is it called when you hit your funny bone at night?

Dark humor.

Dark humor is like a cancer, it's funnier when a kid gets it.

Dark humor never gets old, like kids from Africa.

All of these jokes are so dark, I'm surprised cops haven't shot them.

Dark humor is like parents. Not everyone gets it.

Son: Mom, what is dark humor?

Mom: Son, do you see that man trying to tie his shoe with no hands?

Son: Mother, you know I'm blind and can't see!!

Mom: Exactly!

Why is an orphan so scared of the dark?

They don't have a dad to check the closet.

How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Must be more than 9 cause my basement is still dark.

Why is dark spelt with a K and not a C?

Because they can’t see their parents.

My sister asked me what is dark humor. I asked what does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? "Kinder Surprise!"

So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.

The boy turns to the man and says, "Hey mister, it's getting dark out, and I’m scared... Can we go back now?"

So the man says: "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone!"

The difference between dark jokes and morbid is,

dark jokes are 10 babies in 1 trash can, and

morbid jokes are 1 baby in 10 trash cans.

What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate.

*Hears the news about Sandy Hook* Person 1: "God, I can only imagine what was going through those kids' heads in the last moments of their lives..."

Person 2: "Probably Bullets."

Person 1: "OMG!! Can you even think of what their parents are going through?!"

Person 2: "Probably Coffin Brochures."

Person 1: "...."

Person 2: "It's called dark humor. Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it."

Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor jokes?

It can't hit home.

I said to Google, "How do I kill someone?" Then I got https://www.wired.com/story/dark-web-bitcoin-murder-cottage-grove in the front. Before you click it, it says, "If you want to kill someone, we are the right guys." How the f*** did this get in Google?

How many Microsoft programmers does it take to change a light bulb? - None, they declare darkness to be the new standard.

Kid: "Dark humor is like a mother's love."

Orphan: "How?"

Kid: "You wouldn't know."

Orphan: "........."