Nurse: Don't worry, I'm great with babies. Parents: You are? Nurse: Yeah, I always abort them. Parent:... Parent: You're hired.
Dark Humor
I saw my friend hang themselves. My response was, I guess they wanted to hang with someone.
If only they had more mosquito nets in Africa, we could prevent millions of mosquitos dying needlessly of AIDS...
How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thin you slice them. -Hope Marie Lawson
What's the best thing about abuse jokes? The punchline.
I can tell a joke :)
Twinkle, twinkle, there's a car Coming like a shooting star. I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.
Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his brother in the woods?
My friends were worried that I was making suicide jokes so much, so I said, "Don't worry, you won't have to hear them much longer."
What do a relationship and suicidal thought have in common? They’ll both end soon.
How do you get an emo kid to jump?
A bridge.
A pedophile was holding a bag of chocolates and then approached a little girl at the park.
"Hey little girl! If you give me a teeny-tiny kissy-kiss on the tip of my wee-wee, I'll give you a piece of my chocolate!"
The little girl replies, "If I suck your whole cock, can I have the whole bag?"
I was hit on by President Kennedy, too bad I shot him down.
Emo kids counting be like: 1, 2, 3 come hang with me! 4, 5, 6 Gonna get new slits! 7, 8, 9 Suicide! 10, 11, 12 Bring some pills!
How do you execute a retard?
The Electric Wheelchair.
So, a few hours ago my friend said I need to CUT it out with the s/h jokes... like... it's really not that deep?
Once there was a girl named Sally! She had no arms or legs, was mute, deaf, and blind.
Knock knock Who’s there? Not Sally.
What do you do when you finish a magazine at the hospital?
Reload and keep shooting.
What's an Emo's favorite drink?
Water, JK it's cyanide.
This girl came to me and said, "I got raped in my sleep!"
I replied, "I done it as a joke."
-April 1, 2020
What's worse than having ants in your pants?
Uncles.
