Dark Humor

I was gonna tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort.

What's the difference between necrophilia and a choking fetish? 15 seconds.

What’s worse than nailing 10 babies to 1 tree?

Nailing 1 baby to 10 trees.

I was gonna tell a self harm joke, but realized it would cause too much pain.

I like my kids how I like my lights, Hanging from the ceiling.

Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!

What's worse than Sally in a trash can? Sally in thirteen trash cans.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends how hard you throw them.

What was the last thing to go through the heads of the 9/11 jumpers?

Their ankles.

How do you make an emo jump?

A cliff.

It's funny how teachers are supposed to educate new lives, but only teach certain kids how much they want to commit suicide and how many ways there are.

What's the difference between orphans and girlfriends? I don't have 100 girlfriends locked in my basement.

What did the rope say to my depressed ass?

~ Hey, you wanna hang?

Kid: Mum, how do you know someone is drunk?

Mum: See the four birds over there?

Kid: Huh, wait a minute.

Mum: A drunk person would see eight.

Kid: Mum, but there is only two.

Q: How are Clocks like Pedophiles? A: They both stop at 12.

My friends were worried that I was making suicide jokes so much, so I said, "Don't worry, you won't have to hear them much longer."

I was walking today and I saw an emo with a noose looking up at a tree. I simply said, "Hang on there, bud!"

Santa and Bill Cosby's favorite quote: "Don't be dumb, make sure they're numb, and always use a condom!"

I told someone some jokes, y'know? "Fruit Ninja," "barcode legs," "French puppet thigh wrings." And she was like saying that's not cool and stuff. So she reported me, and it was like:

The counselor: "So I've heard you've been making sh jokes?" Me: "You say it like it's a bad thing." Her: "It is." Me: "Chill bro, it ain't that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)"

you.

What's the best thing about abuse jokes? The punchline.