Dark Humor

Dark Humor

Bill Cosby

Santa and Bill Cosby's favorite quote: "Don't be dumb, make sure they're numb, and always use a condom!"

Fruit Ninja

I told someone some jokes, y'know? "Fruit Ninja," "barcode legs," "French puppet thigh wrings." And she was like saying that's not cool and stuff. So she reported me, and it was like:

The counselor: "So I've heard you've been making sh jokes?" Me: "You say it like it's a bad thing." Her: "It is." Me: "Chill bro, it ain't that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)"

Orphan

Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor jokes?

It can't hit home.

Abortion

Nurse: Don't worry, I'm great with babies. Parents: You are? Nurse: Yeah, I always abort them. Parent:... Parent: You're hired.

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  • Suicide

    I saw my friend hang themselves. My response was, I guess they wanted to hang with someone.

    Mosquito Net

    If only they had more mosquito nets in Africa, we could prevent millions of mosquitos dying needlessly of AIDS...

    Baby

    How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thin you slice them. -Hope Marie Lawson

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  • Death

    I can tell a joke :)

    Twinkle, twinkle, there's a car Coming like a shooting star. I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.

    Emo kid

    Emo kids counting be like: 1, 2, 3 come hang with me! 4, 5, 6 Gonna get new slits! 7, 8, 9 Suicide! 10, 11, 12 Bring some pills!

    Friend

    So, a few hours ago my friend said I need to CUT it out with the s/h jokes... like... it's really not that deep?

    Sally

    Once there was a girl named Sally! She had no arms or legs, was mute, deaf, and blind.

    Knock knock Who’s there? Not Sally.

    Magazine

    What do you do when you finish a magazine at the hospital?

    Reload and keep shooting.