Dark Humor

What’s worse than nailing 10 babies to 1 tree?

Nailing 1 baby to 10 trees.

I was gonna tell a self harm joke, but realized it would cause too much pain.

I like my kids how I like my lights, Hanging from the ceiling.

Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!

What's worse than Sally in a trash can? Sally in thirteen trash cans.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends how hard you throw them.

What was the last thing to go through the heads of the 9/11 jumpers?

Their ankles.

It's funny how teachers are supposed to educate new lives, but only teach certain kids how much they want to commit suicide and how many ways there are.

What did the rope say to my depressed ass?

~ Hey, you wanna hang?

How do you make an emo jump?

A cliff.

What's the difference between orphans and girlfriends? I don't have 100 girlfriends locked in my basement.

I was walking today and I saw an emo with a noose looking up at a tree. I simply said, "Hang on there, bud!"

My friends were worried that I was making suicide jokes so much, so I said, "Don't worry, you won't have to hear them much longer."

Kid: Mum, how do you know someone is drunk?

Mum: See the four birds over there?

Kid: Huh, wait a minute.

Mum: A drunk person would see eight.

Kid: Mum, but there is only two.

Santa and Bill Cosby's favorite quote: "Don't be dumb, make sure they're numb, and always use a condom!"

I told someone some jokes, y'know? "Fruit Ninja," "barcode legs," "French puppet thigh wrings." And she was like saying that's not cool and stuff. So she reported me, and it was like:

The counselor: "So I've heard you've been making sh jokes?" Me: "You say it like it's a bad thing." Her: "It is." Me: "Chill bro, it ain't that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)"

you.

What's the best thing about abuse jokes? The punchline.

Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor jokes?

It can't hit home.

Nurse: Don't worry, I'm great with babies. Parents: You are? Nurse: Yeah, I always abort them. Parent:... Parent: You're hired.

So, a few hours ago my friend said I need to CUT it out with the s/h jokes... like... it's really not that deep?