Dark Humor
1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don't have to do this class anymore.
2: I'm dying, finally.
3: I'm sorry, I can't go to your party because I'm expected to be dead by then.
On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I'm getting checks. I hope for the best :/
What is a cannibal's favorite food?
Crackers.
I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning.
A depressing but satisfying victory.
Rules of Dark humor:
1. All subject matter can be used, nothing is off limits.
2. No saying "Me" or "My Life" as a joke. Nobody finds those funny. We want actual good and meaningful jokes.
3. Don't Repeat Previously Posted Jokes. If you are saying the same joke that the person right before you posted you are just begging for attention and nobody by any means likes that.
I will add more in the future and be frequent on this site.
- Sincerely, Zane
*Hears the news about Sandy Hook* Person 1: "God, I can only imagine what was going through those kids' heads in the last moments of their lives..."
Person 2: "Probably Bullets."
Person 1: "OMG!! Can you even think of what their parents are going through?!"
Person 2: "Probably Coffin Brochures."
Person 1: "...."
Person 2: "It's called dark humor. Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it."
What's the same about dark humor and kids with cancer?
They never get old.
What's the best thing about abuse jokes? The punchline.
Why can’t pedophiles ever win races? Because they are always coming in a little behind.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Depends on how high your ceiling is.
What do you call a fat girl with a rape whistle?
Optimistic.
The secret to dark humor is the delivery... oh wait, the baby was stillborn.
What do you get when you have an annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.
Q. How many babies does it take to shingle a roof?
A. Depends how thin you slice them.
Friend: How dark is your humor?
Me: It gets beat by the cops on a daily basis.
What's the best part about having emo grass?
It cuts itself!
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
What's better than throwing up a stillborn?
Making your wife eat it again.
What's worse than a bag of dead babies? One at the bottom is still wriggling.
What does dark humor and a child with cancer have in common? They never get old.
What do you call it when a Mexican and a pedophile fight?
Alien vs Predator.