Kid: But, Mom, I don't want to see Grandma.
Mom: Shut up and keep digging.
What is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.
What does a baby in a blender look like?
I don’t know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 Victims, they went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.
The judge asked me, "How does 5 to 10 years sound?"
I said, "Sexy."
What did the Hiroshima survivor say about the day Little Boy dropped? "It was a blast!"
What was the last thing to go through the heads of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Dead baby jokes never get old...
How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thin you slice them. -Hope Marie Lawson
A man goes to the library to find the best book about committing suicide. So when he asks the librarian, "What's the best book on committing suicide?" The librarian said, "Oh, fuck off...you won't bring it back anyway."
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Must be more than 13, because my basement is still dark.
What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?
I don't know, he hasn't opened it yet.
you.
What's the definition of trust?
Two cannibals giving each other blowjobs.
Dark humor is like food.
Not everyone gets it.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.
But I knew she'd come crawling back to me.
What's the hardest part about being a pedophile?
Fitting in.
How many babies do you need to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
